Eric Rauchway: “You are walking along, with some cured lunchmeat on your person. You happen across a parked Cybertruck, baking in the summer heat, its owner nowhere to be seen.”

“You are walking along, with some cured lunchmeat on your person. You happen across a parked Cybertruck, baking in the summer heat, its owner nowhere to be seen.”

I Would Like To Put Lunchmeat On The Cybertruck | Defectordefector.com I saw my first Tesla Cybertruck in person a couple weeks ago. I’d driven my family into an outer satellite town of D.C., well outside our normal circuits, and there it was, around the corner from us i...

The CuberTruck lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, spinning its wheels trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. You’re laughing your ass off. Why is that?

All these... panels... will be soiled... by tears and rain.

Is cubertruck a typo or a joke about its sharp angles?

DAMMIT. Or, um, yea, a clever joke. Let’s say that.

I’m willing to go along with a retcon that it was intentional.

It would indeed be a clever pun.

This one clever cubertrick will amuse your followers on social media.

You've been doing so much classical Greek literature recently the Y/U substitution just happened naturally.

Describe in single words. Only the good things that come into your mind. About the CEO.

Too bad we can't put it up on a post in the middle of nowhere...

"You are standing in an open field west of a Cybertruck, with a boarded front door. There is a small mortadella here."

> inventory

I wanted to see if an egg would cook on the panels in the hot sun on a 95F day last week when I saw one. Granted, having cured lunchmeat is more likely to have on hand than a raw egg, but I think we should get together for cybertruck grill lunch

this is the best Voight-Kampff question ever.

Literally spotted my first Cybertruck in the wild today and it was hot as Hades in DC today. Sadly no bacon.

I *knew* I wasn't the only one with this fantasy!

Hear me out, instead of lunch meat... pork roll. The presliced stuff. In this weather, that stuff will cook up real nice on a cybertruck

Well, yes, but I think the goal isn't so much to make lunch as it is to see what it'll do to the truck. I'm tempted to go with bologna, personally, although you could very quickly talk me into olive loaf.

See I feel like something that will not just splooch but also cook a bit would be interesting, it's not like cooking pork roll leaves a clean pan

I don't think much of any cured meat would come off a hot Cybertruck cleanly (MAYBE bacon, but that's it). Of course, this is mere conjecture. The scientific response would be to test.

Clearly we must test, there must be some dude with a cybertruck whose dad makes him work more than an hour a week for his 7 figure salary

It's like the universe is calling to me.

A giant package of circular bologna could make a pretty interesting polka dot corrosion pattern.

Does this void the warranty?

What a waste of perfectly good meat. And I'm a vegetarian.

A rotten egg would do But who has rotten eggs in the first place ? Does it still exist, even ?

In the interest of balance, I think we need to consider the possibilities offered by seafood. A nice salmon steak? Kippers? A handful of shrimp?

You know it would be a lot more convenient to carry at egg.

Why would I be carrying a wadge of meat as a vegetarian near a dysfunction hunk of dangerous unroadworthy metal that's not up to my Country's standards? I must drugged, considering the luncheon meet turned into a giant ancient kangaroo from RACQ who just obliterated that dysfunctional heap of shit.

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