wealthy gadabout

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wealthy gadabout

@carlosanimals.bsky.social

I have no idea
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veryimportant.lawyer my album is also getting old and being unfairly maligned in the press depending on who you ask
Gold Sound, by Patrick Cosmosveryimportant.lawyer 17 track album
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Way back in February I was working on a piece for VICE, and then a few weeks later everything else happened. I don't have much of an idea what's going on over there now, none at all actually, but they decided to run it today. It's about the bar and some friends of mine. www.vice.com/en/article/e...
Here Comes a Regular: How Barflies Became My Brotherswww.vice.com Working at a neighborhood bar, I found fraternal love in the arms of drunken strangers.
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one of these is my new book. you can guess which, or click the link below: www.mousehousebooks.com/product/bert...
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Working remotely? Always mute your mic on Zoom calls to mask the inevitable toilet flush.
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When will the Charmin corporation make an AI bear on their website you can go to for asshole wiping advice
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Tormented throughout another NBA postseason by the ads featuring a family of animated bears who think and talk only of shitting. Their obsession with toilet paper is infinite, ecstatic, profoundly depraved. No more of this.
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Brunson out there tricking his uncles
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I’m so hyped up by this game that I might just start throwing stuff into my toilet
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My fuckin’ hat is too big and I don’t know how to take it off.
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I think it’s time for me to admit that at 39 years old, I’m probably never gonna remember the difference between slow gherkin and skankin pickle
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The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s having to go to the bathroom.
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AI can never replace the feeling you get when you say, “Neuro-Beavis vs. Mech Garfield” to your friends and everybody gets to imagine their own version of what that would look like
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Basketball: it kind of sucks sometimes
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Quick question: do you think I could make money selling t shirts to basketball players that say, “Tall as hell; dumb as fuck”?
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Sitting at the cool kids’ toilet table
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Gonna write a 900 page novel titled The Great Schism and it’s about the debate between people who prefer Perfect From Now On and people who prefer Keep It Like a Secret.
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The basic, underlying philosophy of all great societies is essentially the same: whoever can scream and cry and shit themselves the loudest is the victor.
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To succeed in life, you must be independent, perverted, scrappy, introverted, adaptive, frequently drunk, selfless, stupid, inquisitive, uncharacteristic, slow, small, shiny, stinking, worthless, wonderful, mysterious, braggadocios, sleepy, stubborn, graceless, grateful, and always bored.
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One of my favorite things is texting pics of old parked cars with my buddy @rbuas.bsky.social, and he turned our exchanges into a beautiful essay flaminghydra.com/long-old-cars/
Long Old Carsflaminghydra.com In praise of right angles
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The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s having to go to the bathroom.