Colson Whitehead: Eric Adams has awarded Motionsure Co. a no-bid contract to provide earthquake detectors in all 472 subway stations. “It’s the smart thing and the right thing.”

Eric Adams has awarded Motionsure Co. a no-bid contract to provide earthquake detectors in all 472 subway stations. “It’s the smart thing and the right thing.”

NYPD has orders to shoot the tremors on sight

What are you talking about? They don't need orders silly.

"Just a few household chemicals in the proper proportions". Michael Gross's greatest role.

As a "Family Ties" fan it really showed us his acting chops.

It's not the Tremors that they need to shoot, it's the Grabboids that might surface.

Each detector guarded by two on-duty officers.

Exactly

all powered by the energy released when two pieces of candy collide, and are crushed.

What no temblor robots?

Who are both always on their phones, scrolling Truth Social.

beat me!

who have official paid subs to candy crush.

…both staring at their phones for 8 hrs straight.

And the robot.

Motionsure **AI-powered** earthquake detectors, right?

Hey, its feels like NYC final got its swagger back!

Each detector will be monitored by 5 police officers.

You laugh but brother spare a thought for the people who are gonna spend the next two hours trapped on the subway. We could send police to escort them to the nearest platform but fare-evaders would take advantage of that compassion

This is freaking funny!

and its run by his roommate in fort lee

Blaming the earthquake on qwoke.

This comedically the smartest dumb thing that he could do... because he's done dumb things like that, and far dumber than that, minus the looking smart part.

Geology goes LOL HOW ABOUT I JUST FLOOD YOUR TUNNELS FOR AWHILE AND THEN BUCKLE YOUR TRACKS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE MOVING A FEW INCHES IN A RANDOM DIRECTION AND THEN CRACK THE SHIT OUT OF THE CEILINGS AND STATION PLATFORMS FOR LULZ

Hey NYC AI, can I legally fire an employee for being in an earthquake?

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