[at unicorn fuck club]
JRR Tolkien: tonight we've got a special story from everyone's favorite fantasy writer
GRR Martin:
CS Lewis:
Peter S Beagle:
Hans Christian Andersen:
L Frank Baum:
Tolkien: whoops shouldn't have said that ha ha
Tolkien: i mean, you're all winners in my book
Tolkien: but when i say everyone's favorite fantasy writer
Tolkien: i mean terry practchett
GRR Martin: oh yeah that's fair
CS Lewis: yeah fair
Peter S Beagle: fair
Hans Christian Andersen: yes yes of course
L Frank Baum: that's fair
Terry Pratchett: hello unicorn fuck club today i've got a story about a wizard who is - get this - actually very bad at his job
Tolkien: oh ho ho! terry my boy, you've done it again!
Pratchett: there's also girl dwarves
Tolkien: [suddenly stone-faced] i hate this
Pratchett: but first
Pratchett: all this story telling is hungry work!
Pratchett: do you happen to have anything to eat around here?
Tolkien: are you talking about...
Tolkien: having
Tolkien: a
Tolkien: feast?????
Brian Jacques: [squeaking incomprehensibly in rising excitement]
Tolkien: why, terry, my boy, what an idea!
Tolkien: instead of merely DESCRIBING a feast, we'll have one! huzzah!
Martin: huzzah!
Lewis: huzzah!
Jacques: [squeaking] i use a mercury head dime as a serving platter!
Pratchett: no no nothing so fancy as that
Tolkien: eh?
Pratchett: i was more thinking along the lines of
Pratchett: soup
Tolkien: soup?
Pratchett: yeah just a big bowl of heart soup right about now would just be the best thing
Pratchett: oo i just love the sound of it!
Pratchett: think about it: no work... no worries... no failures... no waste... when you serve maggi homestyle soups, the finest money can buy yet priced reasonably within your budget
Tolkien: interesting! tell us more
Pratchett: maggi soup! es ist echt ausgezeichnet!
tfw you have lived a life both varied and adventuresome, at different times a sailor, truck driver, longshoreman, comedian, folk singer, and radio host, and each of these pursuits colored your rich tapestry of stories
