Drew Magary

@drewmagary.bsky.social

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Defector.com. SFGate.com. Six books.

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I kinda wanna investigate this now

I grew up in a household that used small trashcans as standby barf repositories, and married someone with the same baseline. Barf bowls were never a thing for us and they’re such an alien concept. Is this the vomit version of a “Coke vs. Soda vs. Pop” kind of regional practice?

A few months ago a FUNBAG reader asked if I cared when I used the family barf bowl as just a normal cooking bowl when it was off duty, and I said no. But ever since then, anytime I’ve cooked with the barf bowl, I’ve thought to myself okay yeah this bothers me

Lotta people bashing Google search these days but, personally speaking, I still think the ol’ girl’s got some magic in her

Had to edit a text postsend TWICE just now which is like… oh god they must think I’m a shitfaced idiot

Watched Challengers this morning and thought it was really good. You won’t hear that anywhere else.

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I found the new slogan for The Distraction. @davidjroth.bsky.social @drewmagary.bsky.social

Can’t stand the Braves but their unis tonight are pretty fucking sweet

ISS COMIN OME!!!

NOOOOOOO www.nfl.com/news/vikings...

Vikings rookie CB Khyree Jackson dies in car crash at age 24www.nfl.com Vikings rookie cornerback Khyree Jackson was killed in a car crash overnight, the team announced Saturday morning.

No one else is in the house is up and I’m bored so let’s do a Q&A. Ask me any serious question about anything and I’ll answer it as best I can

I had a good day today, so that was cool

Seen a few Vikes outlets float the idea of trading Lewis Cine and there’s just no way anyone wants that poor bastard

I 100% believe that Biden is out of it but I read the Nuzzi thing and it’s awfully breathless for a story that doesn’t have a whole lot of direct quotes in it.

I got absolutely fucking housed by two waves and it felt awesome

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(repeating, quietly at first) "Ali Baba and the forty thieves..."

Gonna do the most American thing possible today: pop a candy and listen to License To Ill at the beach

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This is nice to read today. I was grumpy and this fixed it a little. (He deals with your objections in the first paragraph. Read it before you draw that deep indignant breath and start typing.)

Happy 4th! Here are all the reasons that we kick ass! www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/a...

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I dropped my phone and it's a damn paperweight until further notice. So I am hopping on here on my laptop, on a holiday, to see if the Times opinion section published anything kooky/odious. I have to know!

Happy 4th! Here are all the reasons that we kick ass! www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/a...

“You asked for Nutter Butter in your Blizzard. We only use the base for it.” “What do you mean? Like you only use the creme inside the cookie?” “Yes. Is that okay?” “That is so much more than okay.”

FUNBAG!!! defector.com/how-i-became...

How I Became An All-Caps Fetishist | Defectordefector.com Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. And buy Drew’s book, The Night The Lights Went Out, while you’re at it. Today, we’re talking about pa...

A daytime near beer? Oh Drew you rascal

I deleted the calorie counting app today. The right move, for a lot of reasons

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A friend summed up his life guarding career as no wins, no losses, 1 save.

I bet the job of lifeguarding blows but the LIFESTYLE of it, where you all train together and fuck each other… that seems tight.

The upside of putting on sunblock when there’s sand on your hands is that it exfoliates as it fails to rub in

If the President is now legally allowed to do anything then I think the obvious thing for Joe Biden to do is simply murder Donald Trump.

Im away from home and mouse stopped working which is just a brutal CPU injury

Beach dog

Lot of rumors going around about me being back at the beach, and I’m here to tell you, they’re all true. I DID go back to the beach, where I intend to surf the Humunga Cowabunga From Down Unda