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her dad was a baron and her grandfather was the editor of the telegraph and she is the heir to a banking fortune
We put this Telegraph column through ChatGPT and it didn't alter a word
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chatgpt can do many things, but it cannot have a dad who is a baron
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people are making fun of her brother the magician and he does seem a bit silly but honestly fucking around in india doing magic tricks is a vastly better way to be a banking heir than writing columns for the telegraph about why twenty somethings today aren't grateful enough for their shitty jobs
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So that’s Michael and Job covered, now they just need a third sibling who never learned to behave like an adult and on whose behalf large sums of money are constantly being spent to bury various scandals
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Are you saying that... There's money in the banana stand? Because I've got a kitchen lighter that I've just recently bought.
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this is why i stood up for the koch heir whose dream was to make tacky tshirts. he’s the only one who had it figured out
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"From the boardroom to the discothequa"!
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been wandering around my apartment in a daze muttering "oh, of the bank moneys?" to myself all day
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Her brother is Drummond Money-Coutts, a magician and heir apparent to the Latymer Barony. He has a Netflix show where he successfully completes the tricks of magicians who died to prove he's better than them. He's literally Gob Bluth. They're the Bluths
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I have never understood the revulsion people feel towards magicians until I saw this skeet
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How are they related to Eddie Money?
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They bankrolled at least two tickets to paradise.
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americans really underestimate how much harry potter was just jkr writing from life
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a homicidal boarding school peopled with indifferent professors with implausible names and a penchant for light torture is barely fiction
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They always advise to write what you know
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his facial hair, including eyebrows, looks drawn on with a ballpoint pen
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Former British colonies really need to tell them they can't do tourism
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Can we hope for a Sanskrit tramp-stamp to be revealed in future episodes?
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it might as well say जियो हंसो प्यार करो ffs
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Isn’t this exactly what the word “unctuous” was designed for?
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i don't think i have ever wanted to give a person a nuclear wedgie as much as i do right now
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Illusions, Jacob.
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the effect is even more incredible from the side
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That cannot be his stubble. He used a Ben Nye makeup kit from his high school days and just stippled that on his face. His tie clip has more charisma
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He's like all of the Bluth's amalgamated into one hugely hateable person.
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i'm not watching any of that smug douche's shows, but i'll torrent the future pirated video of his very last trick
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why is this man not manning the desk? People need to be checked in
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Gonna be real funny when one of his stunts goes wrong, tho. 😈
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He demands to be taken seriously
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What... what is going on with his hair?
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Oh, wait, it's a tattoo, I thought it was like a single stripe? Not much better but still.
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As seen on the xbird site:
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Is someone going to talk about Dracula being about the blood-sucking parasitical upper classes or shall I?
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It's also about those Evil Easterners moving to decent cities and corrupting Our Women.
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And anxiety about homosexuality
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Ok but the hyphenation with “money” is so crass it’s hilarious
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You so seldom read columns that are like "My parents were blue/pink collar workers, and they encouraged me to get educated and I did that, and now I'm arguably facing a more uncertain financial future than they are," even though that's, like, the experience of LOADS of people.