D

Visiting my parents this week, and a blank profile on Grindr messaged me to let me know that my profile made me sound just as arrogant as I was back in college when this person apparently knew me. I don’t know if I have ever felt more sorry for someone. Hope your life gets better!

rip keith haring, you would have loved goatse

Wish my brain weren't this way

Also straight white women need to realize that there is wine other than Chardonnay. Rosé! Riesling! Lambrusco! I PROMISE THERE ARE BETTER FEMININE WINES THAT DON’T TASTE LIKE WOOD

I love when straight guys order “girly” drinks at the bar and go out of their way to point out that IT’S FOR MY WIFE

I’LL HAVE 10 COSMOS PLEASE, THANK YOU, END OF SENTENCE

Look, it’s a known fact that if you order the cosmo without the “it’s for a girl” disclaimer, a huge leather daddy immediately appears and drags you home to his dungeon. So.

I know moving south seems counterintuitive during a climate crisis but at least we have air conditioning*

I don’t have air conditioning so I want to commemorate this being the last minute it will be comfortable to be inside my home for the next week.

I love when straight guys order “girly” drinks at the bar and go out of their way to point out that IT’S FOR MY WIFE

Oh! You missed the headlines?? It’s literal brain worms 😌

gurl, do you think we’re all eating hot dogs because we think they’re healthy!??

America’s Disbarred Lawyer™️

NEW: Rudy Giuliani has been disbarred in New York www.nycourts.gov/courts/ad1/c...

This guy gets it

"You're always talking behind my back!" Yeah, it's called manners. Who raised you?

Also I’m currently listening to The Whitest Woman™️ explaining to her friends why you should always take your shoes off on the plane 🤢

This Delta lounge has big windows so you can look down at all the poor people eating delicious Wendy’s instead of the “nice” food they serve in the lounge, but I won’t join them because airport lounges are the only time in my life where people treat me like I’m important

“You wanna say that to my face??” No, because that would be extremely rude?? What other people think about me is literally none of my business

yes and the same goes for people talking behind my back, they aren’t saying it to my face for a reason and i dont need to know about it

I’m 2 episodes into season 2 of Star Trek: Prodigy and it’s already better than most seasons of Discovery and every season of Picard. But it’s “for kids” so no one I know watches it and it may or may not ever have another season

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nacho likes airplanes

Me reading Supreme Court majority holdings all week:

I’m surprised and disappointed at some of the snarky, dishonest, unserious and, frankly, intellectually lightweight takes I’ve been seeing in this space over the last several days.

The best part of this is I looked at the picture before reading the caption and I actually said out loud “is this some kind of sex yurt??”

Sex yurt in the woods anyone? DM for details 😈

The Supreme Court says Gerald Ford was a sucker

Do you think there are more people in the world who have never heard of Godzilla, or who have never heard of Jesus? Or do you think the number is equal?

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the words here are from a fortunate cookie that my realtor left for us "to celebrate the new year with good fortune" unbeknownst to her she bought adult fortune cookies 🥠

CW: child p*rnography My reaction to the link in the comments: hooooooly shit