hammancheez: Also hurricanes — Subium • Bluesky web client

Also hurricanes

today’s catastrophe was brought to you by chevron

Also: invent a new way of rating heat domes in terms of temperature rise and number of deaths caused and call it the "Exxon Scale"

"Heatwave Saudi Aramco is letting up after two weeks of 33 degree highs, but starting next week we expect the heatwave PetroChina to top it."

Chevron V is gearing up to be way hotter than even Shell IV

Can we do that with all the shit companies or just oil companies? Because "Heatwave Johnson & Johnson" & "Heatwave Nestlé" have a nice ring to it & they definitely played their part.

tbh I wouldn't put it past Nestlé to just make a candy bar with capsaicin in it and call it the Heatwave to blow up the SEO and let them ride in the noise floor.

We could also name them after politicians who held back climate initiatives

That’s my favorite suggestion, that way they would get voted out.

I smell a branding opportunity.

This is the first time ever seeing that version of the guy pointing meme outside of trans subreddits.

Oil executives, and climate change deniers.

And fires

👍🏼

due to monopolies you would run out of names in a year or two

The fast and the furious movies still havent run out we’d be fine

Hurricane BP 72a is heading towards the Keys

i’d like to see this happen

That's not Beryl, that's BP!

Oil company *executives and board members*

Love it, bring more awareness to climate change!

All extreme weather really. Although you do run out of oil companies pretty damn fast.

Imagine the press conference. 'We are now going to name extreme weather events caused by climate change after the companies mainly responsible for causing climate change... And it seems we have run out of companies to name them after because there are so many extreme weather events.'

I immediately imagined a bidding war for naming rights for extreme weather as an extension of marketing and wondered where the money spent would go Here comes hurricane Exxon sponsored by Exxon-Mobil

But why?

They’re usually the ones causing it

Here at Exxon, we take the greatest precautions for the protection of our fragile ecology. Here’s the Exxon Valdez at port. Here’s our plucky captain after a couple of cocktails.

Only protecting their bank accounts

It really isn't. The amount of money they spend on "social license", lobbying, legal action and avoiding transitioning into an energy company is genuinely hurting their bottom line.

Also banks who make it a point to keep investing in their projects. We should see both Hurricane Chevron 2024 and Hurricane Citigroup 2024. And aid workers can wear gear with their logos on it so everybody knows what's up. Because they're also paying aid in this scenario. Immediately.

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