Hannah Harkness

@harkitshannah.bsky.social

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Off-grid comedian / elder shitposter. Head Writer Brooklyn Battle Comedy on IWTV. Creative overlord of Kate’s Bunker fictional podcast / livestream. She/ hurrr 👽

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Hannah Harkness

Do it

Upset to inform everyone that my #1 diner is now Massapequa Diner on Long Island if my Philly Citizenship just got revoked I understand

I’m not on any conspiracy feeds, has anybody said the shooter is a recreational time traveler yet?

People keep asking if I’ll move to Germany because of Trump or Biden and I’m like bro if I move it’d be because of HITLER, this is my only German reparation, if I move it’s out of spite, you murdered my family now you have to cover my healthcare 🇩🇪

(Talking to my family about the dual German citizenship we’re getting as a Holocaust reparation) “We need to take every reparation they give us on principle, if they offer a “sorry we murdered your family” tote I’ll take 100”

You think if Sondheim was alive he’d add anything to Assassins?

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Hannah Harkness

$60/$1500 car payment will be two months past due on the 15th, and a myriad of other bills are coming due soon. please help while i try to find work and stabilize my life venmo: falsegrindmassacre mutual aid 💸💕

$0/$1500 please help if you can. once internet gets two months due they'll shut it off and they will repo my car, even though my last payment is supposed to be august 15. money is tight and i'm working on finding a job, and im so sorry venmo: falsegrindmassacre mutual aid 💸💕

Bluesky: post like no one’s watching (they mostly aren’t)

Good clouds over bad real estate

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Hannah Harkness

going to start a concert series called Holy Shit This Desk Is Huge where acoustic singer-songwriters have to put on a stadium show with pyrotechnics and such

My instagram crush on DerrickDowneyJr is starting to get pretty ridiculous but he’s a trick rollerskating hot guy that’s best friends with several wild squirrels what do you want from me

Just saw an ad for power generators with a meteorologist going “you need to prepare for mass power outages - buy one today!” Welcome to the end

I walked into my bf’s new apartment and went “I can’t wait to leave a bunch of shit here by accident”

Feeld needs a “no Bushwick” toggle bro I’m tired and the G train is broken

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Hannah Harkness

A friend in Milwaukee texted me today to ask if I heard about Dvontaye Mitchell. I hadn’t, and I want to know why the whole country isn’t talking about him. Dvontaye was murdered by Hyatt Hotel SECURITY GUARDS on June 30th. They pinned him to the ground until he died, despite his pleas for help.

A Black man died after he was pinned to the ground by security guards at a Milwaukee hotel. Now his family wants answers | CNNwww.cnn.com The death of a Black man after he was pinned to the ground by security guards at a Wisconsin hotel last month is being investigated as a homicide, as members of his family and their attorneys on Wedne...

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Hannah Harkness

My cybertruck keeps making this weird noise that sounds like everyone laughing at me. It’s louder when the windows are down, if that helps.

(Watching Roadrunner & Coyote) “Why is he always getting Acme stuff? Is it like Uline where he doesn’t really have a choice?”

This mf’er sitting like a cool high school teacher telling it like it is 🤼‍♂️

I say this a lot but if I became politically conscious while this was all happening and wasn’t old enough to vote yet, I would barely trust any adults

I am so incredibly inspired by Gen Z's bravery in speaking up and taking action about the COVID and climate crises. But at the same time it's heartbreaking that they feel required to go above and beyond because elders are completely failing them.

The one funny thing about Project 2025 is they could have kept it to themselves, it’s giving “Bond villain monologue explaining evil plan ahead of time for no reason making protagonist’s job easier”

Score this week

It’s mad convenient that I’m in her district now so I can focus most of my attention on calling other representatives

NEW: AOC introduces articles of impeachment against Justices Thomas and Alito for failure to disclose gifts and failure to recuse. Cosponsors: Lee, Tlaib, Watson Coleman, Ramirez, Frost, Omar, Bowman Thomas: ocasio-cortez.house.gov/sites/evo-su... Alito: ocasio-cortez.house.gov/sites/evo-su...

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Hannah Harkness

Oh is The Bear not a realistic depiction of what it's like to work at a restaurant?? Oh no! *walks down imaginary stairs behind couch, comes running back up* I've received terrible news about every tv show ever

There was a spider building a web in my podcast mic case. Dude really lost his house because I had to podcast about Yu-Gi-Oh 😭

Normalize haiku Normalize haiku poems Normalize haiku

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Hannah Harkness

Very funny that the Times was so certain about the panic they were causing that they set up a little live update election-season scoreboard for it

I’m the kind of gal that has had the background music for a food contamination educational video I saw once in 2005 stuck in my head for almost 20 years

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Hannah Harkness

“If Congress had not statutorily protected first sale, would library lending be legal?” 🤔 That’s one of 3 key questions librarian & legal scholar Michelle Wu breaks down from the recent oral argument in Hachette v. Internet Archive: www.libraryfutures.net/post/a-respo...

Library Futures | A Response to Hachette v. Internet Archive from Michelle Wuwww.libraryfutures.net Championing the right to equitable access to knowledge.

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Hannah Harkness

My heroes, I’m jamal from gaza and this link the only way and only hope helps getting our stuff in the war and let us evacuating from gaza , I hope from everyone repost and share this link www.gofundme.com/f/sspqf-10k-...

There’s some memes that people drag out seasonally like old Christmas decorations that are approaching a decade old

retire EVERY meme. post NEW THINGS. online has gotten FUCKING STALE