J

@jbowes.bsky.social

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Too earnest for the internet, too cynical for the real world.

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Tonight feels like a really good night to drink some whiskey and listen to the new IDLES.

I circled so long looking for parking tonight that I noticed drivers got significantly worse after 7pm, in case you’re wondering what time they do shift change at the asshole factory.

I’ve been forced (by the fact that the rest of my department does it) to turn on “Messages” on my laptop, and people who like getting texts on their computer are all perverts. Don’t text me a goddamned Keynote file, that’s what email is for.

I have to wake up earlier than usual a couple times over the next two weeks for work, so I’ve started mentally preparing myself (least favorite part of my job) and my brain has responded by waking me up at 4:30am every day this week. Not yet, goddamnit.

Sometimes I think about how my job is incredibly offline and that most people I meet (from all different walks of life) are, at least on the surface, either genuinely nice or at least muddling along trying to do their best, and that the true assholes are few and far between. And then I get on here…

If you say these things re: Biden without saying that 1) Trump is a *convicted* rapist, 2) Trump would be worse about genocide, both foreign and domestic, and 3) Trump’s brain is absolute molasses, then you’re not a leftist, you’re a right wing Republican who thinks Trump won’t hurt you personally.

There’s a (non-politics) podcast that I used to enjoy listening to, but they seem to have transitioned to talking about how Biden is a rapist and is enabling genocide and also his brain is pudding, and maaaaan, I dunno if I can keep supporting them.

But also, now that Tucker has to take a one-way trip to a clinic in Switzerland, KC should change their name and anyone still doing that racist chant should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

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Show me the crying conservatives, I want to see man baby tears

This has probably been debunked, but just in case: Let’s Go Chiefs!

Snapchat and RFK Jr ads during the same break? I guess it’s the “Waste of Money” segment of the broadcast.

My incredibly offline wife still can’t wrap her head around why it would make right wingers way more mad for KC to win this game than SF. I’ve tried to explain it, but she just keeps saying “that’s so dumb”. We must protect her from internet poisoning at all costs.

Just talked to my dad on the phone for 49 minutes, beating our previous record by about 47 minutes. There’s a lot of work to be done to repair our relationship, but it doesn’t feel as impossible anymore as it once did.

It’s probably not a great sign that I’m reminded of the existence of oppositional defiant disorder at least once a day while walking around my neighborhood.

How do you “night mode” people do it? If I read white or grey text on a black background, I feel like I’m staring at the sun through horizontal blinds for the next several minutes.

Walked by a sex shop today that had lingerie in the window, which is normal, but this particular piece had a *zippered* crotch. Now, look, maybe I’m just not using enough of my imagination, but that seems like just about the worst use of a zipper I’ve ever seen.

Looked up his plate and found an interesting case study in how bad drivers have gotten: Between 0-4 citations per year from 2014-2021, then 24 citations in 2022 and 20 citations in 2023. The Asshole Tax isn’t high enough.

Just watched a guy park in a crosswalk so he could run into a bakery, and it gets more anti-social from there. When he came back out, he opened his door for some “privacy” and took a piss on the street. He then made a very loud phone call while eating a croissant with his unwashed hands.

In communist China, speaker listens to *you*!

No need to, the Glorious Science of China has provided a solution: https://chinadigitaltimes.net/2024/01/xi-branded-power-bank-speaker-provides-two-kinds-of-positive-energy/?amp

Xi-branded Power Bank/Speaker Provides Two Kinds of Positive Energychinadigitaltimes.net A top Party outlet has created a Xi Jinping Thought-themed combined Bluetooth speaker and power bank for distribution to cadres across the country. The contraption, clunkily titled the “‘Xi Jinpin...

Welp. Bedroom window 1 - some kind of bird 0. Monday!

My 2014 MacBook Pro has been an incredible workhorse for nearly a decade, but it’s on its last legs. Apple considers it a museum piece at this point, so I can’t just get a new battery or more memory. I do some photo/video editing, but more Word and PowerPoint stuff. Advice on M2 Air vs Pro welcome.

Mitch Hedberg joked *30 years ago* that we don’t ask chefs if they can farm, too. It’s only gotten worse for creative people. If you want to make money from your art, there’s a subset of wealthy and/or powerful people who think they should get to own more than just the output of your creativity.

the weirdest thing about being a writer in the very online era isn't the said or unsaid pressure to make funny or cute viral videos, but it's to make videos **playacting** what the audience feels like the life of a creative should be, this weird, twee, cozy performance

Watched “Freelance” on Hulu tonight. It couldn’t decide if it wanted to be an action film w/ comedic overtones or a farce w/ just enough action. It did neither well, sadly. I like John Cena and Alison Brie! But it felt like a movie made entirely by people whose phones hadn’t rung in a while.

The ex-neighbor is an ex-big shot at Hillsong who had (still has, most likely) a huge drinking problem, but that’s a story for another day. Let’s just say I dissuaded him from continuing down the “fucking around” path his drunk ass was on.

There are way more adults than I’d have expected that think cursing is the greatest possible sin someone can commit. Strangers have told me there’s no need to curse after I’ve almost been hit by a car. A former neighbor wanted to fight me because I said “fuck” in his presence (not even *at* him).

TBF there is a certain section of older voters for whom there is literally no greater sin than saying a naughty word on television

Why is it so hard for people to just leash their goddamned dogs, especially in busy neighborhoods? It doesn’t make you look cool, it makes you look like an asshole who thinks they’re special and doesn’t have to follow the same rules the rest of us have agreed to.

Just dropping this on the timeline before I go on a two hour walk with my dog.

Fucking Blank Street coffee. Their rapid growth made a lot of sense when I (somehow) got an email pitching me as a potential investor. Now they’re fucking everywhere.

It seems like there’s fewer people setting up a local ice cream shop, say, and more investors doing market research to fund a pseudo local ice cream shop and turning it over to locals for management while siphoning profits forever.

Ayrton Senna always enjoyed a nice Spa day.

Every at speed photo of F1 looks like man confronting a problem from God

Went to a small bookstore the other day and found a 2nd Edition of “The Fall” by Camus (printed 1958) and didn’t buy it (because $35 seemed pricey for a faded, banged-up 2nd edition missing its dust jacket), but now I’m, oddly enough, having second thoughts.