Penny Mordaunt, the Conservative whose name sounds the most like a villain in a YA fantasy novel, has lost her seat. Or riding. Or perhaps fallen off a horse, and jolly good that, too.
Nigel Farage has won a seat in Eric Clapton. To celebrate his victory he will eat three immigrant children, or "dusky veal," as they're known in the Reform Party...
Johnny Mercer, composer of "Hooray for Hollywood" and "Moon River," has lost his seat in Plymouth Moorhen to
Labour’s Fred Wedlock, still officially the Oldest Swinger in Town.
"I play Merthyr Tydfil and Rhymney on Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale ..."
"You can only play one card on one card."
"Quite so."
"Fine. I play Newcastle upon Tyne East upon Newcastle upon Tyne North then tap my Pudsey to turn your Ribble Valley into a rotten borough."
I googled to see if that was real and got “Former Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport of the United Kingdom” which makes me wonder if Google is just playing along.
"Nigel Farage has won a seat in Eric Clapton. To celebrate his victory he will eat three immigrant children, or "dusky veal," as they're known in the Reform Party.."
while shooting at 'targets' on a boat between bites