Lawyer in Beta dot com

@lawyerinbeta.com

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Jurassic millennial
The Keeper of Records

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Going to scream if anything prevents me from going to bed early tonight

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Lawyer in Beta dot com

Cruel and ghoulish Republican governors of a dozen states – Alabama, Alaska, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah and Wyoming – opted out of a program, leaving about 9.5 million students without food benefits in repressive summer heat.

Republican-led states are blocking summer food benefits for hungry familieswww.usatoday.com Money for food is especially tight for families in a dozen states where Republican lawmakers declined to accept federal food assistance.

Yesss the boy is watching Hey Duggee again!!! (I am so fucking tired of Curious George omg)

Oh good! Finally an upside to taking Allegra & Claritin every 12 hours, bc “slightly less itchy” otherwise falls far short of my goal of “not itchy” but I’ll take “lower risk of COVID”!!

Science seems to say that covid binds like a histamine reactine therefore antihistamine are possibly preventing infections journals.asm.org/doi/10.1128/...

The histamine receptor H1 acts as an alternative receptor for SARS-CoV-2 | mBiojournals.asm.org In addition to human angiotensin-converting enzyme 2, severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2) can utilize alternative cofactors to facilitate viral entry. In this study, we discovered that histamine receptor H1 (HRH1) not only ...

Came home to my house smelling like new paint and drywall 🥰 …and my garage smelling like old basement, so like I guess it balances out

My child is well aware that there are only a handful of snacks that I can eat. Guess what he chooses to eat every single time, passing up cookies and much better crackers? 😒

I am actually at a loss as to how to figure out *which* cases are actually about my sketchy-ass neighbor, when they have a non-unique name but holy balls they’re so fucking sketchy omg

No no no no no nope this is too much nature in my salad OMG no

Dr office: “oh uhhh she only does telehealth visits after 4:00 pm.” Me: “I pick up my son at 4:00. I am available all day, from 9:30a to 3:30p, Monday thru Friday.” They figured something out.

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yes, we boiled the planet, but it was worth it to make a machine that, instead of adding two plus two, takes the statistical average of every answer to questions containing "what" "is" "two" and "plus" from a database of illegal cell phone transcripts and returns a fake nude pic of a high schooler

To the high school girl next to us at the parade yesterday, who kept swooping in to grab the candy in front of my kid: I’m going to choose to believe that there’s some other issues going on and not that you were intentionally very literally taking candy from a baby

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Look, I’m guessing you need this as much as I did—the tumblr heritage post about native fauna of hardware stores has been updated for craft stores: “Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing” #crafters #homedepot 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 www.tumblr.com/brandyschill...

Brandy Schillacewww.tumblr.com *releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

The boy’s camp changed its photographer, and I’m very annoyed bc this means that I don’t get a 4th photo of my now-enormous boy on the same tiny set from the previous 3 camp years. We’ve loved seeing his growth, bc in first year, his tiny feeties were dangling off the seat 🩵

My sister said her dog [new bby rescue] seems to respond best to her friends who are trans-masc, and… that’s such an extremely specific preference 😹😹😹

SIGH. Ppl have always compared human brains to whatever the most recent tech innovation was. Like before the comparison was computers, it was machines.

What can this possibly mean? Brains evolved over 500 million years ago; language probably less than 100,000. So he can't mean it literally. Bach studies cognitive architectures and has a PhD in cognitive science, so he knows the difference between brains and transformers.

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July 4th is very rough on my dog (he is a royalist and considers George Washington a traitor)

1 bite, bc my child would immediately decide that he needs water at that very second, then he needs a new napkin, then he needs to pee, then he forgot how to put on his pants, then he lost his sock… ☠️

A 4th of July tradition - asking the Internet how many hotdogs they could eat in 10 minutes. I remain convinced I’d max out at 4. The sodium alone would end me.

The boy tried *and decided he hated* Twizzlers. Heck yeah, more for me

Me, texting my friend: “we’re leaving for the event now!” 20 min later: finally actually left 😹 bc 5-8 adults, 1 hs senior, 1 smöl boy, and 1 lörj scaredy dog

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😀🤣

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An Ohio tradition: eating ice cream in a parking lot 😹

The boy accidentally head-butted me in the nose at bedtime, and Everything Hurts And I’m Dying 😭

Just realized that I can have my sister help me with alterations on the one dress!!! For one, she also understands the need to buy the next size up so that it fits your hips but then you need to take it in everywhere else lol

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I can go to the history museum for like $7/each plus parking. There’s a zoo that I might take him too. There’s a CFA w/ a play place (good bc he can climb, snack, repeat), BUT I NEED A PLAN FOR THE WEEK and I want to die

4-y/o translation of the day: “Salami sandwich” actually means “SunButter and jam sandwich, but I also want to eat some salami” ——— And I guess I’ll just go fuck myself bc I didn’t know that

Now I’m worried about the ANA test that my dr requested. No word from Quest about my results. It’s been 10 days since the blood draw. Wtf. I emailed again, asking what I need to do to get my results. Reply: “some tests are complex & take more time” … bitch it’s a metabolic panel

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My favorite joke is something like this lonely guy goes to buy a pet and at the shop ends up with this centipede in a tiny house that the clerk tells him can talk. He goes home and waits for it to speak, gets bored waiting, taps the house, says "Centipede, you wanna go out for a drink?"

GUYS. I GET TO MEET MY SISTER’S DOG. MY DAD IS ACCEPTING PUP AS HIS “GRANDDOG” (which he always has for my dogs, but still hilarious to hear)

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