shutupneff

@shutupneff.bsky.social

Followers

116

Following

197

Posts

Not sure yet. Maybe a normal person. Probably just a shitposter. However I hit your brain, I guess.

Posts Replies Media

Really brave of the Funko trailer to build itself around, “Wait, is that…?” Because I guessed wrong every single time.

There should be a google plugin that just puts a big black bar over the top half of the first page of results, so that you don’t accidentally see any of the AI bullshit, sponsored links, or SEO drivel.

My chiweenie: [eats a used bandaid from the trashcan] Me: Uh oh. The great hunter has developed a taste for mammal blood.

People really do have a wild view of pet animals. Dogs are omnivorous scavengers and people are like, “my dog would have eaten a lot of fresh meat in the wild.” No. Bugs, small game, low plants. Istg if you want natural grind up some bugs, chicken bones and yard waste. Bon appetit Fido!

It’s low key crazy that we’re not even six months into 2024 and we’ve already had our first former US president convicted of a felony.

@thewitchinthewell.bsky.social is dipping her toes into the world of dank memes.

Every third ’90s rap album, right when you’re least expecting it: “The man’s trying to divide us, we got to stick together / The Korean grocer is on his payroll,” or “Bitches are always pretending to forget their PIN numbers / We held down a [F-slur] and replaced his blood with maple syrup.”

Reposted by

shutupneff

Saw someone say “bleach blonde bad butch body” was homophobic and with everyone hyping AI it’s nice to see the FBI is still dedicated to the human touch

Why do you think I’m so often five minutes ahead of schedule and yet also 15 minutes behind schedule?

to catch a bus you must think like a bus

Just to be clear, on at least 23 separate occasions in the past, people got together to decide the best name/new name for a WNBA team, and somehow Valkyries was still on the table for #24? Wild.

WNBA expansion team Golden State announces team name: Valkyries - ESPNwww.espn.com The WNBA expansion team in Golden State announced Tuesday that it will be called the Valkyries, which originates from Norse mythology and refers to a "host of warrior women who are fearless and unwave...

Can someone tell Kendrick Lamar to make his next song about my wife? She keeps asking me to scratch her back, even though I’m in the middle of my very important work (playing 20 year old Castlevania games).

Three days in, and I've yet to lure a single child into my windowless van. I guess there's always tomorrow...

#RIPOJ He died doing what he loved: outliving Norm McDonald.

Like many of you, I’m sure, I often wake up at 2 am to jot down some profound thought or banger bon mot before I have a chance to forget. And like many of you, I’m sure, I always wake up the next morning to the most incoherent drivel imaginable. But I think I may have been spitting on this one.

I’m putting together a team for a big heist. I’ve got my get away driver, I’ve got my safe-cracker, I’ve got my munitions guy, I’ve got my guy that dogs just like for some reason, I’ve got my hacker, and I’ve got my master pickpocket. I’ll I need now is an acrobat and we’re good to go.

Someone brought their toddler to a showing of The Batman, clearly hoping she’d behave or fall asleep. Instead, she loudly babbled and giggled through the whole opening, went, “Hehe! Yummm!” when Riddler brained the DA, and then loudly waved goodbye to all of us when the dad finally gave up. 11/10.

What's your best cinematic experience? 📽️ My ★★★★ review of Get Out on Letterboxd boxd.it/3L0wfJ

Review of ‘Get Out’ (2017) ★★★★boxd.it When I watched this in the cinema a guy behind me screamed:

So in Ocarina of Time, Zelda spends seven years as a guy to hide from the forces of evil, then comes out the other end with an early-onset male pattern baldness fivehead, and somehow Link is the transmasc idol? Okay…

George Lucas got real lucky that the name Star Wars almost instantly became just a two-syllable word for “thing with space wizards,” because it’s an objectively awful name for a franchise. And that’s before taking into account how it took him over two decades to introduce a second war.

I’m starting to regret my CHEUGY 4 LYFE tattoo.

This scorched earth campaign is gonna be great for keeping Hans Kristian Graebener’s secret safe. Masterful gambit, Elon.

It took a few hours, but Hans Kristian Graebener’s best friend finally found this very clear libel.

Are bouncers class traitors in the same way that cops are?

Is no one going to point out how ridiculously swole the sculptor made Kobe’s arms on this new statue?

Pleased to see that the new Kobe Bryant statue looks like absolute shit

N to the O-P-E It’s the finest little movie in his whole catalogue Indiana

It’s kinda weird how so many people know that James Cameron was exploring the Titanic while Dana Carvey was filming the Turtle Club scene, right?

I just realized that, following this logic, JK wrote Moaning Myrtle, an emotionally unstable person who spent all her free time hanging out in bathrooms, as trans.

What’s a dumb movie you will always stan? Got to go with Drowning Mona. It’s Knives Out 20 years early, except even the cops are glad the victim got killed. With the amount of love the internet has for DeVito, Curtis, and Midler, I can’t believe it’s still languishing in obscurity.

What’s a dumb movie you will always stan? Mine is The Core where Delroy Lindo gets out of his car in the center of the earth to heroically sacrifice himself and is talking on the radio to the other characters like “yep…extremely hot…I’m blind now…verrrry hot”

Reposted by

shutupneff

New Gen Z slang you'll be sick of hearing everywhere soon: "I'm carving slices off the bitch." Meaning: undetermined/unclear Origin: overheard when I was recently stabbed by a crowd of teens

If I round down when describing what transgression I’ve committed, and then round up when describing my wife’s reaction to it, I’ve practically told the whole truth since those roundings cancel each other out.

Just found out all ten of @thewitchinthewell.bsky.social ‘s toes are fucking piggies. I’m sorry to say that ACAB includes about 1% of my wife.