snargleplax

@snargleplax.bsky.social

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Autist. Hilarious wordnik. Principle-driven software engineer. toki pona la mi pipi Nakupaku. If you're not riffing, are you really living?

Not here to do a gender; they/them is fine.

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R A T B EE F

Who named it a "plow" and not a "plot device"?

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Wife: why is there a cow in our garage Me: that's our new lawn mooer Wife: Me: Wife: Me: he's going to cud the grass

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i’ve given up on most things, but i’ll never stop believing in the transformative power of throwing rocks at windows in the night

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Six word story: "You fool! That was the ANTI-antidote"

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Stephanie goes by Stephanie

If you include a picture without alt text you will not be shared

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In a rich basso profundo voice while gnawing on a whole daikon: Mother, I have dumped my shorts.

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i love this bitch on instagram who is like "some favorite activities of my independent montessori 1 year old: slicing cabbage! weeding! whisking eggs! breaking down boxes for recycling!" with video footage of a baby that is visibly 23.9999999 months old

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the third time it happens, you make a sign

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Periodically, I like to reread my favorite Scottish poem: Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence.

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Girl-Starved Beast

The real First Law of Robotics: "Don't mess with Philly."

William Shakespeare, content creator

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What is the most popular breakfast item at McDonald's in the Netherlands? The Hague and Cheese McMuffin 😉 🤣

Show me a working design for an upside-down toilet and I will absolutely flip my shit.

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What a day

A wiseacre? Buddy, I am a whole-ass wisehectare.

me (noticing I've committed an off-by-one error): it's just an off-by-zero error; we're good.

tired: stranger danger wired: strangler dangler

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Alabama, from mineral deposits through agriculture and slavery to modern voting. Understanding how this sort of thing happens and why it matters is a basic test a lot of people are failing while they argue teaching history is unimportant

"Anyone who does not number among these reptiles" is some cold-blooded shade

einstein sent this to curie in 1911 when she was being harassed by tabloids. it contains everything you’d want in such a letter: (1) your haters are trash (2) you’re a baller, a true queen (3) i have determined the statistical law of motion of the diatomic molecule in planck’s radiation field 🧪⚛️

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Every morning I check the news and it's like -SCOTUS Eliminates Three More Basic Rights, Only Six Remain -President Mispronounces a Word, Will Now Lose Election to Senile Hitler -New AI Company Uses Artist Blood to Let Billionaires and Racists Live Forever, Gets $45 Billion Valuation

[being approached by a plucky Swiss orphan] my Heidi sense is tingling

them: you're saying I should perform self-trepanation? me: yes, can you get that through your skull?

extraordinary generosity of spirit (derogatory)

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schools should replace the Pledge of Allegience with a weekly viewing of Stop Making Sense