Sage 🏳️‍⚧️: bidets are the next stage in the historical material process of ass cleaning. live in butthole feudalism if you insist, but don’t get spiteful when fully automated luxury tuchus communism happens & you aren’t invited because you left your fartbox in the dark ages covered in shit & kleenex scraps.

bidets are the next stage in the historical material process of ass cleaning. live in butthole feudalism if you insist, but don’t get spiteful when fully automated luxury tuchus communism happens & you aren’t invited because you left your fartbox in the dark ages covered in shit & kleenex scraps.

goooooooooood morning campers and welcome to trash tuesday. just like a comet it’s here now and who knows when it’ll be back again so give it all you got show me those brain worms and let’s have some fun

since some of you asked for recs, this is the bidet i bought. it’s $40 and has worked great for like 5+ years. install takes 10 minutes. no plumbing work besides attaching an included pass-through. hella renter friendly. if you decide to get it through this link, amazon gives me like a dollar lol

LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self-Cleaning Nozzle, Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Attachment for Toilet Seat, Adjustable Water Pressure, Rear Wash (White) - Amazon.comamzn.to LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Self-Cleaning Nozzle, Fresh Water Non-Electric Bidet Attachment for Toilet Seat, Adjustable Water Pressure, Rear Wash (White) - Amazon.com

this blew up! follow my account for more bidet posts & content

you: “omg too much discourse” me: “no worries, i gotchu.”

this is what i have. it is extremely good

I'm blaming both of you for my inevitable purchase… 🤣

yay!

Serious question: how is it powered? I don’t see any electrical cord and last time I considered getting one I realized my bathroom had no outlets <9ft from the toilet

the bidet i linked just uses water pressure! it doesn’t need to be plugged into any electrical outlet. ☺️

Huh, I wonder if it’s just the heated ones that need wall sockets then. Cool, thought the sales material might have been handwaving away that detail. Good to know

depends on the model / brand, but it tends to be the hella deluxe bidets with extra frills like heated seats & blow dryers that require a wall socket for power. 😅

yup just the heated kinds that need it. also i realize i have the neo+ from them which is slightly more expensive but easier to clean. i've never found the temp to be an issue as an fyi

Yeah and honestly? The tap temp ones are fine. I wouldn’t even describe it as “bracing”

Yeah, it's just some heated ones. Others will give warm water by connecting to a warm water supply.

The product photos never show the power cord! If you don't have a GFI outlet within a few feet of the toilet, you would need to have one installed.

but that's how you get the good tingles

teh forbidden tingles 😵‍💫

If you want one that uses warm water, you’ll have to attach one hose to the hot water for the sink—assuming you either own your home and can drill through the sink cabinet or rent a unit without a cabinet. That was my holdup for a long time, but even without that, it’s not all THAT cold.

yah, it’s not cold at all, just room temp.

Depending on the pressure setting, it can make me let out a little gasp on first blast, but yeah, it’s not bad, and definitely the benefits outweigh that split second of surprise.

The $$$ ones with the frills often just use the standard cold line that's already going to your toilet and heat it electrically (also, heated seat and warm air blow dry). That way it's warm right away, you don't have to flush cold water out of the line to use it

Yeah, I’m not about to electrify my plumbing (even if the way it’s built is considered safe, I don’t trust it and would always be afraid of the toilet).

It was easy enough that I could install it and I am noooot good at this sort of thing. I had a bit of trouble because it kept jumping the threading, but it was still an easy remedy!

This is the one I have. Love the adjustable water pressure because it feels good to hit my asshole with the full blast.

another satisfied bidet customer!!

I don't get why they're not on every toilet on the planet. The only part of my vacation that I disliked was that it has a basic-ass toilet. I can't believe I used to live like that.

I got the Luxe Neo 120 back in 2020 after spending a month in India and hating coming back to having to use toilet paper. 😂 Really good and lasting brand there.

I've had the Neo 120 and it worked just as well as the Brondell Thinline SuperSpa "SS-150" that I have now. The Brondell avoids lid clearance issues that people may run into with the Neo 120, for random curious folk reading, and is extremely affordable at $30 USD.

i have this Brondell on my other toilet & it also works hella well. can def recommend if the Neo 120 isn’t compatible.

Brondell FSA-15 FreshSpa Thinline Bidet Attachment for Toilet Seats with Adjustable Single Nozzle, Side Arm Control, Thin Profile, White (Ambient Temperature) - Amazon.comamzn.to Brondell FSA-15 FreshSpa Thinline Bidet Attachment for Toilet Seats with Adjustable Single Nozzle, Side Arm Control, Thin Profile, White (Ambient Temperature) - Amazon.com

yes, i wound up buying two bidets. they are that much of a game changer.

Every bottoms friend. I love mine got one built into a soft close seat instead of as an attachment. Would like to upgrade to heated ones tho.

We’re considering a second one, but that is a socially significant bathroom for the cats and I worry the kitten might sit on the control panel and activate it and run water all day 😩. Since we switched to corn litter and flush their litter, the Litter Genie in that bath is only for wet wipes now.

I had no idea you could get them as attachments like that. Unfortunately, installing one would be a bit more involved for me than in the video guide here.

I went all out and got the Toto Washlet C2. It’s soooo good but installing the new outlet was considerably more expensive than the already costly device…

yeah, hence the $40 version that requires no modifications to existing infra.

Yeah no hate, the washlet was my birthday gift I’ve wanted one forever, and want the power for the heated water and heated seat and drying function haha

Yeah we're doing some necessary plumbing work, and as part of it we're moving our upstairs toilet downstairs and getting a new one for the upstairs. We've wanted a heated washer for a while now so now might be the time

I've had this one for over a month because Katie said it was what she had and I have yet to get it to work because apparently it's not compatible with my toilet seat. I don't regret buying it, and do in fact recommend it, but it's worth double checking to see if you need to replace the seat too

oh dang, seriously? hmm, i didn’t have to replace my toilet seat or anything. 🤔

It's entirely a problem of my own doing. I bought a weird seat with a hinge that prevents the seat from slamming down and I don't think that particular combo plays nice together

And because making adjustments to the toilet involves a lot of internal, and sometimes external, screaming because I have to touch a toilet, it's taking me a long time to fix

I'm a big fan of the handheld sprayer form of bidets :3 honorable mention: the luxe travel bidet!

Our house came with one of those on the downstairs toilet. Only one guest we've had has ever seen one before, in Cambodia where apparently they're called "bum guns"

calling bidets “bum guns” has a distinctly Cambodian flare to it somehow, love it lol

I love my bum gun 🥰

Skeets that are very...interesting...to see out of context on your feed.

Endorsing luxe, we had to get their seat as well to avoid huge gaps between rim and seat, but it is actually great. Has slow-close and quick removal for cleaning

I want one so bad but I cannot turn off the water to my toilet - the little football shaped handle that is in all the helpful install videos on YouTube just isn’t there. So SOL

Post