Aaron Huertas: Farting yourself to sleep in a courtroom? Buddy you better believe that's some high-level strategy.

Farting yourself to sleep in a courtroom? Buddy you better believe that's some high-level strategy.

If a septuagenerian coup-attempter from a developing country was farting himself to sleep in court, it would not, in fact, get interpreted through a strategic lens. Good god.

why are they like this!!!!

The New York Times hasn't learned a thing in eight years because its leadership thinks it's done nothing wrong

"Donald Trump does not technically have to stay awake for his felony crime trial so he doesn't" doesn't sound like some genius strategy to me.

Shitting himself unconscious

Someone should culture her tongue, see if the same pathogens exist on Trumps boots

And why does Jess Bidgood sound like a byline from The Onion?

Rebelliously nodding off, as a stern demonstration of his undiminishing power.

"nowhere does it say you aren't allowed to take your unpowered cell phone out of your pocket and *pretend* like you're playing roblox while the judge is talking to you"

ass-dimensional chess stuff

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