Making to-do lists was stressing me out too much so I decided to change tack and instead make a list of all the tasks I am NOT completing and for reasons I can’t quite articulate it has improved the situation
“Here is just a list of the things that you in some way intend(ed) to do but are not in fact completing. I’m just leaving this list here. No judgment.”
I do a variation of this! I have an “engagement” status tag for each item on my to-do list. Options include: abandoned, actively working, dreading, excited about, ignoring, loose idea, meh, researching, stalled, waiting for spoons.
It’s refreshing to be so damn honest with myself.
I am soon 75. The real prob has always been:
1.you write a list.
2. You then forget the list elemens since you have written them for future reference.
3. You forget to bring the list.
The best bit would
be crossing them
off and saying “There! Never going to be done”.
I’ve started doing this with stuff. Prints I got at an estate sale and was going to frame? Poof!💨
Big fancy bottle I was going to put bath salts in? Poof!💨
Rhododendeons I was going to plant! Poofpoofpoof!💨🤣
I'll add a "do not buy" list on my grocery shopping list if I'm accumulating too much of random staples (usually Panko bread crumbs, etc) that I tend to grab "just in case"
I no longer use to do lists. I just email myself and try to keep the blood dimmed tide of my inbox below critical mass. It's like closing your eyes as the ocean recedes around your feet. Constant anxiety and yet still safe
I use GTD software (au). Based on GTD philosophy, it has multiple settings. The principle is you just write it down, step back, and the software does the rest.
If you're the kind of person who thinks you have to do things, recommended.
www.trgtd.com.au
I call it my "To Don't" list.
In the hopes that if I don't get around to doing things on a to-do list, I -might- get around to doing something on my to-don't list.
Less pressure by far. :)
OT of appreciation: I've been listening to the podcast you and John Green are doing on The Universe, and I'm singing your praises to my spouse about how beautifully and clearly you are explaining such complex stuff to non-physicists. It's a masterpiece. Thank you both for this.
imo i think it's like, "focus is not just choosing to do one thing; it's also choosing to not do an infinity of other things".
so listing out the Other Things is a way to deliberately defer them (esp if they're legit important!) making it possible to set them aside to do the Current Thing.
what i noticed in myself personally is that asking myself to defer/ignore a worthwhile or important thing can be difficult, so i have to be extra intentional in doing so in order to free up the mental space for anything else.
(else it's decision paralysis)
Husband and I, after getting frustrated things on our “to-do” lists never got done, decided to call them the “do be ignored” lists instead. We have a short-term to be ignored and a long term to be ignored list. Surprisingly, things are ignored less on those lists than previously.
Dude I just changed my strategy too. I have a did-it list. I start with blank paper and fill it up with things I actually did. I do *a lot* of things between the lines of a to do list that I want getting credit for in my head. Now a 4 item to do list turns into 14 lines on did-it list. Way better.
Yes, that's jarring as well. "Hey, I'll bet you forgot about this old classic that you never got around to watching before it left our catalogue. Well we didn't."
Mine (in chronological order)
- learn to play the... oh, I don't know, an instrument
- stop changing careers every 20 minutes
- achieve world dominance in... something
I’m always looking for the perfect todo list, until I remember that there’s very little I have to do anymore. Retirement takes all the fun out of experimenting with new apps.
I too am struggling with this. I can see how lists would benefit me greatly, but I am unable to create and use them. I last about a day or two, before I'm "too busy". There has to be a solution to this...🤔
