Tim Onion: The Onion: "Christian Conservatives Present Bold New Message: 'You Will Bathe in the Blood of the Innocent'" The Babylon Bee: "You Will Bathe in the Blood of the Innocent"

The Onion: "Christian Conservatives Present Bold New Message: 'You Will Bathe in the Blood of the Innocent'" The Babylon Bee: "You Will Bathe in the Blood of the Innocent"

I always kind of shuddered at the “someday every knee will bow, someday every tongue will confess” songs and references, because of this “I can’t wait until you are writhing in a lake of fire” vibe.

“The right is getting better at comedy and it’s making the left nervous”

Directly into disarray

I thought for a wild moment that the Babylon Bee cracked a second joke. Ah no.

Getting harder and harder to distinguish real world politics from fantasy stuff like this

Weird, doesn’t sound like something Jesus would say 🤷🏼‍♂️

there's no hate like christian love

I mean, what's the point of worshipping a deity that commands peace and love for your fellow man, if you don't get to watch your fellow man burn for all eternity?

I already do, it’s how I keep my youthful appearance

maybe it's not Global Warming so much as Hell is even hotter with all the people Jesus is sending down there to burn?

Do I have to bathe in it? Can I drink it instead?

Sure, just as long as you answer a real quick question first. What are your thoughts on garlic?

If a recipe specifies 2 cloves, I am putting in at least 5. If a recipe doesn't specify any garlic, I put in 2 cloves.

Alright, you passed the vamp check. Been seeing an uptick in those lately

Why are all the pastors on the same side of the river as the abortionist?

The bottom reply should be on top

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