luke: We only tell kids about the tooth fairy to distract from knowledge of the fairies who accept larger bones for greater rewards

We only tell kids about the tooth fairy to distract from knowledge of the fairies who accept larger bones for greater rewards

The foot fairy leaves behind a weirdly crisp stack of hundos

Invoking the foot fairy comes with a cost: once you take the money you keep getting notes asking for more feet

I heard if u say onlyfans in the mirror three times the IRS appears

When you think about it, the tooth fairy is just a really fucked up findom relationship

Oh boy this adds a whole new layer to the academic study of Peter Pan dialectics and artifact fetishism Lest anyone think I’m just making up words digital.library.adelaide.edu.au/dspace/bitst...

digital.library.adelaide.edu.au

That is a v quotable first paragraph

The hospital will tell you they incinerate your amputated limb, but the truth is they're grabbing those benjamins.

Huh, can't believe I just now realized it, but the tooth (and all other bone, etc.) fairies are just out there collecting medical waste for...magic?

What do they hypothetically use teeth for anyway?

actually it’s a little known fact but when you turn 21 your baby teeth come to life and start hunting you but they have no ability to talk or flop around so i think they only got somebody like once or twice

I still have a baby tooth so...

I mean, bones and hair are pretty clutch for spell casting - so by making a deal with the tooth fairy, you're protecting them from future danger.

Read Terry Pratchett's Thief of Time to find out

also Hogfather

I always told my kids they use them to build a castle in the sky.

I like that answer. 🏰☁️🧚‍♀️

i mean if you think about it your baby teeth are still out there … somewhere …

... in a jar... What happens to baby teeth containers in estate sales?

omg same 🌊📏

excuse me everyone i’m sorry to bother but are there any bone or blood witches willing to read my runes in the dark forest tonight? i can travel i need some warning about tomorrow

People buy them if the family doesn't keep them.

Just hopefully not in the possession of a serial killer who rubs them on his victims. "But I don't know HOW my DNA wound up there, detective! I've never even BEEN to Montana!"

I dunno, we teach kids about a fairy taking some guy's rib and making him a wife

You have invoked Him.

Awwww what’s his name it’s cute

No! Do not speak it’s name!!! 😨

Oh no I made eye contact

Prepare your bones tonight. ☠️

That's not at all fair. We also teach them the fundamentals of ritual exchange and obligation! How are they supposed to graduate to dark rites if they can't master the basics?

Patella Pixie will climb through your window and leave you a pound of mince.

I wished to be a comedian and they wanted my humerus in payment. I said what about just a few jokes but they still wanted my funny bone. Obviously I am still in possession of both.

Take my like and get out

Femur? I never even met 'er.

this is why I will teach my kids not only about fairies but how iron keeps them at bay.

All hail the Femur Fairy!

(only ASOIAF fans will get this)

femur fairy 😰

If I had kids I would definitely tell them. "That tooth is only worth fifty cents, but you can get a hundred for a thigh bone."

youtu.be/yL8jlj0SeFA?...

If Jesus Christ was also the Tooth Fairyyoutu.be Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wizardswithguns Our Merch: https://wizardswithguns.shop SubReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/WizardsWithGuns/ Insta: @wizardswithguns @frankst.john TikTok: wizardswithguns Twitter: @WWG_TV I pray daily to the Tooth Fairy. I put a new tooth under my pillow every night as an offering. Every morning the tooth is gone, and my prayers are answered. Of course I ran out of my own teeth long ago when I was young lad. Since then I've had to "find" more teeth... a worthy sacrifice. Today of all days, I stumble upon this "comedy" sketch... this BLASPHEMOUS motion picture orchestrated by heretics! How DARE make jests that even involve my Enamel Queen! Well... it looks like I'll be needing more teeth sooner that I thought... and now... I know just the place to harvest some. Music: Feriado - Cornelio Lord of the Land - Kevin Macleod Written and Directed by: Frank St. John & Michael Romaniello Cinematography by: Mitchell Nance\ #Wizards #Comedy #SketchComedy

Post