Our household made a decision to have a 45 minute reading party every night after dinner—has to be a book we haven't read, has to be for pleasure. We just sit in the same room & read. My mom comes over & the dog jumps up to sleep next to her. It's now the part of the day I most look forward to.
The characters and places in the Dark Crystal could be any size. The gelflings might be twelve feet tall or they might be the size of mice. We don’t have the context to know, and that’s the incredible storytelling magic of the Jim Henson Workshop.
Ladies: don’t forget that if you’re dating an older gentleman such as myself you never have to worry about booty calls. Girl, I promise you you’re not getting a "u up" text at 2 AM, I've been in bed for five hours at that point.
They say that success can change you, but I’m still the same person: no matter how much praise or recognition I get, deep down I never lose sight of the fact that I deserve even more.
I was going to use this GIF to announce that I've been released from the hospital but then I remembered that this was his big number just before dying and I don't want to give people the wrong impression.
I've found that reactions to my weekend surgery are split among two lines.
PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD APPENDICITIS: 😳😮🤯oh no my poor baby you almost died!! 😭😢😿
PEOPE WHO HAVE: heh heh welcome to the club, dingdong [fakes a sucker punch to my gut, laughs when I flinch]
When I woke up from surgery I discovered that my hospital room’s TV had Turner Classic Movies. But THEN I discovered I couldn’t turn off Motion Smoothing. Did I die on the table, and this is my hell??
You just need to be properly motivated. To assist your recovery I have kidnapped your daughter and killed your cop partner a day before retirement. I look forward to your speedy recovery and I'll see you soon atop my neon highrise.
This surgery I just got is really going to make it hard for me to watch Hollywood action films. Three small incisions across my belly have nearly incapacitated me, but in the movies people can shake off swords to the sides or a bullet through the shoulder.
The most interesting thing about my appendectomy is that apparently “a sense of impending doom” is often your body sending you an SOS. I’ve had it for a few weeks but I just assumed it was “turning 50.” But no, it was my gut telling me my appendix looked like a balloon animal.
Me, waking up after my appendectomy: Dang, this is a really nice hospital room.
Nurse, very cheerful: You’re in the cancer ward!
Me: 😳😳😮😰😰😮😮😮
Nurse: Oh! Nonononono you’re fine! We just didn’t have beds anywhere else.
Shortly after I posted this I was rushed to the hospital with acute appendicitis for emergency surgery. (I’m fine now.)
Obviously I’m glad everything worked out but it does tickle me to think that if things had gone really bad this is the post everyone would be leaving their condolences under.
I don’t think Biden will pull out of the race any time soon—I have a feeling his campaign/the DNC are waiting to see how much long-term damage the debate did—but if he IS going to drop out, I wonder if he’ll do it tomorrow so he can frame it as a patriotic act.
