Men, I implore you, free yourself from the constraints of masculinity. Let yourself be only as masculine as you wish to be. Be as feminine as you want it. Stop enforcing gender norms and expectations on each other. Stop enforcing them with yourself. You’ll be happier for it.
Realizing I didn't have to keep drinking alcohol that tastes like malted lighter fluid just for the manly image has been a game-changer. Bring me a strawberry daiquiri or one of those fancy chocolate/caramel liquors!
I learned to mix rum with fruit juice in Barbados. It lessens hangover symptoms if one overindulges. Even when I was young doing shots seemed idiotic, and now an occasional good quality sipping whiskey or rum over frozen whiskey stones is much preferable.
"But how else am I going to declare I'm a man if not by being an extremely toxic POS and getting called out every second for it? Isn't being a man just that?"
That sort of hyper-masculinity strikes me as the most joyless sort of existence. The only goal is endless grift, the only emotion men are allowed to feel is anger, and you're not allowed to enjoy anything, you just accumulate status symbols to invoke envy in others, not because you *want* them.
My daughter and I use “boys don’t like colors” as a shortcut reference to this aspect of patriarchy. It was my sarcastic, exasperated explanation when she couldn’t find fun looking presents for her male classmates in elementary school.
Fun fact, we can actually trace the idea that men’s clothes should be drab to literally ONE GUY in London at the start of the 19th century who happened to get in with the Prince Regent. This guy would absolutely be my target if I had a time machine. LET MEN HAVE COLORS.
that's an excellent way to shorthand it! makes no sense to me how someone could find living like that appealing. no joy, no fun, just stoicism and rage. utterly bizarre.
It's his kind of toxic masculinity that ends in the deaths of far too many men when they don't want to "bother" the doctor. Bother them, if it's nothing, you will both be pleased. If it's not, there's a chance that you just saved your life.
Works well until some toxic bigot decides you’re not their definition of normal and tries to beat you to death or hit you with their car… and the law enforcement share their views.
I sometimes wonder if having more freedom of expression would have resulted in me not arriving where I am today.
I think I still would, but it would have been a much healthier journey to get here.
I took home-ec in high school to avoid gym and was the best in class at sewing, nobody ever gave me a lick of shit for it. At worst they'd ask me to mend buttons for them. We were pretty much there and free at the start of the 2010s, "manfluencer" content of the modern era has regressed us decades.
I kind of freed myself from this type of thinking after I was no longer living in the closet, to the point that yesterday I decided I didn't care what anyone said, I wanted to dye my hair red, so 5 mins after having the idea I showed up at my fiance's house with a box of hair dye. I regret nothing!
I like the freedom to choose whatever seems enjoyable. I’ve done “masculine” stuff like blocking shots playing defense in hockey, and I love watching the PWHL where women are excelling in my favourite sport.
My speech teacher in high school told us that everyone had a some masculin and some feminine traits. I've never forgotten that, and that was in the 20th century!
Also, if you like some parts of a masculine archetype but not others, cut that shit apart! I love me some cowboy outfits, but I'm not into guns, smoking, or beers.
Sometimes I'm a Wine Cowboy, it's a lot of fun
I’m sitting here in a kilt, there’s a lovely rose in my pocket, and I’m tattooing a terrifying skull and crossbones on my arm with charcoal and a needle.
It seems that with all the Barbie movie discourse from tiny divorced men about it somehow made their penises fall off that now is the perfect time to talk about when and how I cut shitty performative masculinity out of my life using an 80’s classic movie series.
Buckle up, folks. 1/?
