I have a legit office set-up at home, complete with: desk, rolly chair, printer, office supplies, etc.
Naturally, I work from an armchair in a different room surrounded by a rampart of TV tables.
Songs I would absolutely lose my shit over when I was 4 y/o:
- Kokomo, Beach Boys
- Going to the Chapel, Dixie Cups
- She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals
- Spill the Wine, Eric Burdon & War.
Jeopardy contestants always look so scared when they're first introduced.
It should really stop me from inventing short, comical back stories to explain what their deal is ... but it doesn't. I'm a monster.
The very last source Alito cites in his dissent in the draft EMTALA opinion:
Ponnuru, R., The Party of Death 10 (2006).
Ramesh Ponurru is not a legal scholar. He is not a lawyer. He is not a doctor. He is not a scientist.
Ramesh Ponurru is a political journalist and editor of National Review.
I tried to hug the Uber driver that dropped me off at the airport early this morning, as if he were a loved one seeing me off on a flight.
I am not built for mornings. Or flying. Or human interactions.
Guilty.
For some reason, this life lesson always makes me think of "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" (where they lie to former classmates about inventing Post-it notes in order to impress them).
Then I think about how cool and easy my life will be once I'm more like Romy and/or Michele.
My cousin's kid graduated from Oxford High School a couple of weeks ago. He was a sophomore when he lived through the mass shooting there.
Now another mass shooting in the same county he grew up in - Oakland County, Michigan.
What are we doing to our children. What are we doing for them.
The cashier at a store near my house loves to part ways with a statement that can mean 8 different things, one of them offensive.
A few of my favs:
"You're a nice lady with a funny approach"
"Glasses don't do anything to change you, physically."
and today's:
"Looking like a full woman!"
In law school, I was on a panel of students who "interviewed" faculty applicants and provided feedback.
There were two interviews so terrible, I had to write letters:
The first: "Pray away the gay" proponent;
The second: Bump stock proponent, as "the current most important constitutional issue."
NEW: The Supreme Court STRIKES DOWN the federal ban on bump stocks, holding that it is not authorized by existing statute. A 6–3 decision with all three liberals in dissent. www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/23p...
Every once in a while, someone will learn I'm a lawyer and look impressed.
I immediately feel compelled to tell them I graduated from law school with a guy who got lost on a camping trip, wandered for days, and now credits his rescue to a benevolent fish in the sky that led him out of the woods.
Dear Martha Ann,
I had an abusive ex who called me a "feminazi" whenever I stood up for myself. That term is meant to shame women who dare to think for themselves.
My last name is also conspicuously German. I would change it before using it to intimidate a single person.
Shame on you.
Turned on Twisted Metal (TV show) and to my delight: Anthony Mackie is tooling around in a heavily sun-faded fire-engine red Subaru that very closely resembles the car I drove through most of my teens and 20s. I couldn't escape all of this nostalgia even if I wanted to.
Walking my dog today, I tripped over the rusty, skeletal remains of a years-old political sign in a median.
I was wearing flip-flops, and the frame stuck in the back of my shoe while I hobbled across the remaining 2 lanes of traffic.
Still. Damn if it isn't the metaphor that stings the most.
Hi, one swimsuit, please.
(Sales rep grabs arm full of swimsuits).
Yep, for swimming. Uh-huh. In water.
(Puts half of the suits back)
What's that? Oh, I guess it should cover both of those things, right?
(Only one suit left)
Even when swimming.
(Lights store on fire).
The number and ways I've heard courts explain that law enforcement officers are not attorneys and can't be expected to understand . . . the law.
Here's Texas saying that (non-attorney) physicians will assess a treatment-based law written by (non-physician) attorneys with no issues spotted.
Me: (strolling in, setting a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes down on the table).
You'll have to forgive my partner. He thinks everyone is a cop.
How about I ask him to leave, and you and I just talk?
You know. Just us cops (prolonged eyebrow raise).
TL cleanse of an order of Black Fair Maiden Yarn. Did you know I do all the gold strands individually by hand? That's commitment, lol. It's bc I want the best for you all tho. Quality for my quality customers. 🤗🧶
