southpaw: This subhed is savage, but the cattiness is perhaps undermined by the decision to send it out as a push alert.

This subhed is savage, but the cattiness is perhaps undermined by the decision to send it out as a push alert.

Alt text

A celebrity getting arrested for DUI these days is putting his d—- in a blender.

Well, he already put it in a box, so….

Indeed, yes.

Cracked me up: The cop who pulled him over didn't know who he was. “He didn’t recognize him or his name,” added an insider. A second source adds, “Justin said under his breath, ‘This is going to ruin the tour.’ The cop replied, ‘What tour?’ Justin said, ‘The world tour.'”

I believe his last two albums are what have ruined the tour

Oh, man... Cry me a river.

"And why were you speeding?" "Only got four minutes to save the world."

JANET FOREVER.

Using that line whenever I get in trouble “This is going to ruin the tour”.

Actually laughed out loud

If this were not real it would need to be retroactively written into "Popstar".

But what does this mean for the Trolls motion picture franchise?

This opens up the possibility that the cop said "Cry me a river" and wasn't even trying to make a joke.

Friends posted the pic of him in cuffs, and I was like "who's that?"

More like "world star"

LOL

Does he drive the bus?

Lived in Sag Harbor—just love he was done like anyone else there. It was very much a thing to avoid making it onto the police blotter for DUI.

World tour of beer?

One of my favorite weird two-degree stories is that I dated a guy who spent two days partying with Justin Timberlake in Miami Beach in a kind of quasi “Hangover” situation. Illegal substances were involved, bottle service, ladies, a trek home with no shoes.

I am not saying the J-Timb partook in anything. Just that it was apparently debauched in a sadly cliche way. (Not sad in the moment but the boyfriend loved telling this story and eventually that made me sad.)

What was it about your boyfriend telling that story that made you sad?

It was clearly one of the most exciting things that ever happened to him.

Right, so why did that make you sad?

I feel like there’s the seed of a Mary Gaitskill short story here

TBF if that happened to me it’d be one of the most exciting things to ever happen in my life!

I hope there was a tiger, "taking a little tiger snooze."

You just know this made the SH police so happy lol

I'm bringing sober back

this one got me

I'll just leave this here www.youtube.com/shorts/9apqm...

Drunk Catwalk | Reno 911!www.youtube.com Watch the full video here - https://youtu.be/3fWyptCFnJM#shorts #comedycentraluk #reno911

Is he related to that Timberland shoe salesman fellow who makes the music sometimes?

“Justin. The Hamptons. Really?”

I saw one that kept defining him by his title names. It started right off with: "The 'Selfish' singer was arrested for..." Etc etc. I laughed.

Drunken driving is a scourge on LI East End. Worked with a woman who lost her only child to drunk driver. Glad Timberlake was treated just like any other. It was very much a thing to avoid appearing in the police blotter—several town papers Sag Harbor Express, East Hampton Star, 27East.

Cry me a river.

Post