The Sovereign Planet of the Moon

@planetofthemoon.bsky.social

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THE SOVEREIGN PLANET OF THE MOON IS POWERFUL AND INDEPENDENT. ASSERTIONS TO THE CONTRARY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

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ATTENTION ATTENDEES OF THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION: IF YOU WHISPER “HERITAGE FOUNDATION” INTO J.D. VANCE’S EAR, HE’LL SUCK YOUR DICK. PASS IT ON.

FAIR WARNING: THE CAVE IS ALREADY HOME TO A HANDFUL OF ORNERY RACCOONS. YOU WILL HAVE AN UNPLEASANT TIME IF YOU TAKE SHELTER IN THE CAVE.

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. (AP) — A new study confirms a cave on the moon that could be used to shelter future explorers.

SO YOUR PLANET HAD ANOTHER ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT AND FAILED AGAIN, BIG DEAL.

WHAT IF INDIANA JONES HAD NEVER YOINKED THE HOLY GRAIL?

What if we just left the Artifact alone?

SWAP THE COMPUTER CHIPS FOR POTATO CHIPS AND YOU’RE GOLDEN.

Can all the Europa Clipper computer chips withstand Jupiter's Radiation? NASA is studying the problem. Note: I can read this article now, but sometimes the NYT seems to move things behind the paywall. I no longer subscribe. 🧪🚀🔭 www.nytimes.com/2024/07/11/s...

NASA Mission to Europa Imperiled by Chips Aboard Spacecraftwww.nytimes.com Transistors on the Europa Clipper spacecraft, scheduled to launch in October, may not be able to endure the harsh radiation around the planet Jupiter.

YOUR TINY FINGERS ARE NOT OUR CONCERN.

@planetofthemoon.bsky.social waits for no one.

YOU ARE BLESSED WITH LUNAR INSPIRATION FOR ONE HOUR. ADD 1D4 TO ALL ABILITY CHECKS, ATTACK ROLLS, AND SAVING THROWS FOR THE DURATION. FULFILL YOUR DREAMS DURING THIS PERIOD, THEN RETURN TO YOUR NATURAL STATE.

skyline is kinda ass and cheeks rn (derogatory) someone be nice to me

THE DEMISE OF THE CANDLELIGHT BEEF BUFFET IS ATTRIBUTED TO THE RONALD REAGAN ADMINISTRATION. IN 1983 BEEF WAS RECLASSIFIED AS A SCHEDULE 1 DRUG.

Side research find: You know what there aren't enough of these days? CANDLELIGHT BEEF BUFFETS!!! (The National Traveller site is currently a Quality Inn, which I suspect does not serve candlelight beef buffets.) Source: Windsor Star, Dec 1, 1978

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The Sovereign Planet of the Moon

if your friend group isn't talking about how >Spear shall be shaken >Shields shall be splintered, >A sword-day, >A red day ere the sun rises! >Ride now, ride now, ride! >Ride for ruin and the world's ending! >Death get new friends! your eorlingas is your networth

ENDLESS GROWTH LEADS TO GRAVITATIONAL COLLAPSE. ARE YOU THERE YET?

the hunger for endless growth is malignant

MARS IS FAKE. MARS IS A FAKE ASS BITCH.

This is fake

NOBODY WANTS THE MEN.

why did we stop sending men to the moon. So many men could fit up there

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The Sovereign Planet of the Moon

lava is just earth cum and volcanos are the earth's weird dick

YOU WANT YOUR BICYCLE TO BRAKE, NOT TO BREAK. PLEASE ENJOY AND EMPLOY YOUR NEW MNEMONIC. THIS HAS BEEN A PIBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

SCIENCE HAS FLAWS, BUT SCIENTISTS HAVE MORE FLAWS.

When an article says "some scientists think" then remember this: I, a scientist, once thought I could fit a whole orange in my mouth. I could, it turns out, get it in there, but I hadn't given sufficient thought to the reverse operation.

SO YOU ARE ALL COMMANDED.

guys we need to speak to each other like grandmas

WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WERE-GRIMACES.

Your sins will not go unpunished

THE PINNACLE OF HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT.

Remember clipart?

YOU ASSUME CORRECTLY.

I’m so conflicted about Taylor Swift. I can only assume she’s chaotic neutral.

IF YOU ARE MAD AT JAKE GYLLENHAAL FOR BEING SO CHARISMATIC, THAT FEELING IS VALID AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR ANGER.

ACCURATE.

the sexiest era in earth history was the devonian era

IN A FUNCTIONING GOVERNMENT, THE BREAD AND THE CHEESE COME TOGETHER.

I can't believe we, as a species, invented bread and cheese - two things that require multiple, complicated steps as well as microbe husbandry - and this is the best political system we've got

*OF 2024 SO FAR.

TO THE TRAUMATIZED WITNESSES OF THE GREAT BLUESKY CATACLYSM OF 2024: YOU ARE INVITED TO LIGHT ONE UP.

DUE TO STABILITY CONCERNS, THE CREDIT RATING FOR BLUESKY ELDERS HAS BEEN DOWNGRADED.

THE VIBE IS RESPECTABLE.

INSTALL THE BIDET ON THE E-BIKE. GET SOME TECH BROS TO UNDERPAY SOME ENGINEERS TO DEVELOP AN APP WHEREIN CONSUMERS MAY RENT THE E-BIKE (PAY BY THE MINUTE) AND LEAVE IT SOMEWHERE IN THE CITY FOR THE NEXT CONSUMER. MODEL IT AFTER THOSE SCOOTER RENTAL COMPANIES. THIS WILL REVOLUTIONIZE YOUR SOCIETY.

At least 25% of my skyline is either e-bikes or bidets rn. Both devices that are set to revolutionize America. @trans.bsky.social and @juicysteak117.gay, maybe you need to create a Bidets on e-Bikes business, where you bike bidets to people who need them. An eminently practical idea, I assure you.

OH SORRY ARE WE BLOCKING THE LIGHT.

NO.

Wait a minute are philosophers annoying

ENJOY IT, FOR IT MAY BE YOUR LAST.

tonight we all sleep under the Solstice Moon 🌕