Rob Cruickshank: While this is legitimately awful, I keep seeing this story, and my brain keeps singing "every human testicle" in the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's major-general's song, and I am not going to suffer alone.

While this is legitimately awful, I keep seeing this story, and my brain keeps singing "every human testicle" in the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's major-general's song, and I am not going to suffer alone.

Eric Topol @EricTopol The highly pro-inflammatory and pervasive microplastics and nanoplastics: previously found in arteries and associated with increased in heart attacks and strokes, now in all human testes that were assessed. www.theguardian.com/environment/... Note: HUMAN TESTES

Microplastics found in every human testicle in studywww.theguardian.com Scientists say discovery may be linked to decades-long decline in sperm counts in men around the world

(I am very sorry, but now maybe my brain will stop) Microplastics have been found in every human testicle; In our spermatozoa and in each tiny vesicle. This gunk is closely linkéd with heart attacks (and also strokes) But I don't know what to do about it— Sorry to alarm you folks...

[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme] 🎶plastic infused human testes🎶

now MY brain is telling me i need to rewrite this news in the form of the entire song

The work has begun: bsky.app/profile/stor...

MICROPLASTICS HAVE BEEN FOUND INSIDE OF EV'RY HUMAN TESTICLE THEY'VE FOUND THEM IN ALL THINGS MINERAL ANIMAL AND VEG'TABLE THE SHIT IT'S DOING TO US IS UNKNOWABLE, UNMENTIONABLE FROM MARATHON TO WATERLOO IT'S TOTALLY UNTENABLE

🫡

Ehhh

this is the very model of a plastic human testicle? XD

Microplastics marinate in every human testicle In specimens of meagre size or in their scale majestical Don't whip them out in public if you want to stay domestical I'm almost out of rhymes now but the rhythm's anapestical

See, I'm hearing the melody to "Every Sperm is Sacred" -- does that help?🫠

That was exactly where my brain took it as well

Me too. The alternative is Gilbert and Sullivan. 🤪

www.todayintabs.com/p/red-lobste...

'VAST DIFFERENCE' loooool

They haven’t checked mine yet so I’m holding off on having a take on this topic

So glad o got my gender-induced gelding hhahaha

Well, to respond, your skeet promptly made me get 'every sperm is sacred' stuck in my head, so there's another 'be careful where you sing it' earworm for you.

You are all very lucky I was unable to find a photo of one of those trick jugs where the milk is plastic and it’s like, floating in midair. ‘Cause I had a truly tasteless joke ready to go.

also fits mambo no.5

Microplastics in every song? Why not, we've already found them everywhere else.

You need to let it resticle.

Thanks for that little ear worm. Will be humming that all day. 🙄

Oh, thanks.

I wonder why we have become such a hostile race of late.

Omfg

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