Sarah Burney

@sburney05.bsky.social

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Treat me as a solar myth, or an echo, or an irrational quantity, or ignore me altogether.

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If you see this, post an image you saved because it made you laugh.

Ma'am what are you doing

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Sarah Burney

Have we done this one yet

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Sarah Burney

Every album from The Decemberists

This is a word!!

Trying to help my son build a cave out of cushions and feeling a newfound empathy for any contractor who has ever had to execute directions from me on a home project

A vendor reveal party where you show off your new hot dog cart

A Bender reveal party where you invite guests to bite your shiny metal butt.

Time to stop getting disappointed by Carolina basketball and start getting disappointed by Atlanta baseball instead

Time to stop getting disappointed by Carolina football and start getting disappointed by Carolina basketball instead

Will Ladislaw you get your country ass in here I know you ain't taking those children on an excursion at nutting-time 🛖

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Sarah Burney

a house that runs out of paper towels, chicken nuggets and toilet paper at the same time is said to be in "costco equilibrium"

🛖 Caleb Garth, looking at a carton of eggs: LOOK HOW MANY CHICKENS I HAVE

ACC refs notice when a player is standing out of bounds with the ball challenge level: impossible

Me: I am very sophisticated because I am reading Victorian Literature 🛖. Victorian Literature: this guy's name is Hackbutt Me: lol

George Finch, 1922: Hey guys, I have this oxygen tank thing I've been fiddling with, lets practice with it so we don't die on Everest. Everyone else on the expedition: FUCK this man, he is smelly and I hate him with my LIFE

COCONUTS have WATER in them

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Sarah Burney

There are 28 days left until our contract expires. ReSkeet to let G/O Media know you support The Onion Union and its right to a fair contract! ✊✊

WELL WHICH IS IT

Mountain Island Lake - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

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Sarah Burney

every Pacific naval encounter from late 1943 onward is like the IJN Golden Kirin, Glorious Harbinger of Eternal Imperial Dawn versus six identical copies of the USS We Built This Yesterday supplied by a ship that does nothing but make birthday cakes for the other ships

WWII ice cream barge, able to create 10 gallons of ice cream every seven minutes to support morale a chilling display of soft power

When you're a kinda bummed out middle aged person with a toddler

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Sarah Burney

========== 9TH ANNUAL BULL CITY FOODRAISER FUNDRAISING THREAD ========== Friends: I need your help to spread the word about our annual Foodraiser, happening in just two weeks! 😱 ➡️ PayPal: paypal.me/TGDFoundation ➡️ Venmo: @TGregDoucette-Foundation ➡️ GoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/9th-annual... 🧵

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Sarah Burney

Happy Circulatory System Wandering Through the Kitchen Day to all who celebrate!

I don't know if it's a perfect album PER SE, but it's the perfect album to have come out when you're 16 that's for sure

tell us a perfect album that came out when you were 16 <3

American Hi-Fiopen.spotify.com American Hi-Fi · Album · 2001 · 14 songs.

Enema of the State by blink-182music.apple.com Album · 1999 · 12 Songs

Time to stop getting disappointed by Carolina football and start getting disappointed by Carolina basketball instead

Well what are you supposed to call it when you exchange letters with a chicken

Advice for new BlueSky users: In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Advice for new BlueSky users: Let’s say you go in to some guy’s office; let’s say he’s even remotely interested in buyin something. Well then you get all excited, like JoJo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is your possible sale. Hello there, pretty little pet; I love you! An

Post a meme made by you

Good riddance to August, the worst month: -Hot -Long (33-34 days?) -No office-closed holidays -Hot

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