JUST IN: Polls closed in France. Exit polls show surprise:
—Left coalition (New Popular Front) projected first. (!)
—Far-right (RN) has lost its bid to take power. Anti-RN front appears to have worked very well.
—No bloc close to majority.
Follow this 🧵 for results and more:
Some of you who have followed me over from the other place, may remember my experience with the 'Shopping Trolley Chip'.
I'm pleased to report I'm now back at the same place to see what more marvels can be offered.
Just got called a bigot, lads, because I said fuck the Tories.
But NOT because I said Tories, but because I didn't say Labour in the same breath.
For fucks sake.
So, arrived in London, and found a nice little Turkish restaurant for a bite to eat.
Sit down, get a glass of wine, and THEN notice the decor...
(You might need to zoom in on that photo at the back)
Channel 4 have hired Nadine Dorries for tonight, but what they haven't told her is that they're rebooting Eurotrash and want her alongside Antoine de Caunes and Jean-Paul Gaultier.
Train announcement just now 'If you notice something unusual, please report. See it, say it, sort it.'
Apparently, this doesn't apply to me unzipping my flies to the conductor & asking him to look at this weird lump that's come up in the last day or so.
They're not medically trained. Who knew?
It’s Election results eve tonight, so I’m putting out a mince pie and a hairbrush for Sir John Curtice, a carrot for IPSOS, and a letter asking for chopper bike, a Big Trak, and for Jacob Rees-Mogg to lose his seat.
Tonight I am off to that there London for a couple of nights, completely unconnected to all things Election. I'd booked about 3 days before they announced it, so expecting a buoyant mood from the locals in the next day or so.
Hoping someone might speak to me on the Tube, and everything.
Michael Portillo tonight, living his best life, watching the results come in and realising his place in political history is about to be overtaken by many, many other Tories.
#GeneralElection2024
Christ.
'Reflective' ('Shit, the grift is going to hit the rocks')
'Worried' ('I'm going to lose £40 p.m. tier subscribers')
'Excited' ('New idea, probably involving cats, to keep £40 p.m. subscribers')
'Emotional' ('I've had a good run with this grift')
'Pragmatic' ('More shitposting for £££s')
