Daniel Duke Windsor, PhD 🏳️‍🌈: "Your life should not be a museum." "Being alive is as special an occasion as it gets."

"Your life should not be a museum." "Being alive is as special an occasion as it gets."

Yes! My wife had a similar fear of using the "good" item, until I showed her this clip of monks making, then destroying, a sand mandala. It completely rewrote the script in her head.

Sand Mandala - A Time To Build, A Time To Destroyyoutu.be (One man band by Mantai Chow)Tibetan monks spent almost a week creating this intricate colored sand painting at Brookfield Place in New York before dismantli...

Don't die with great wine in your cellar

Don't end the game with your inventory full of elixers.

I know it's a small thing, but this glass (not THIS exact one, but you get me) is the last one I have that was used on TNG. The rest are broken, and this one inevitably will be, too. Maybe today, or in 1,000 years. I don't hide it. I use it. I'm literally using it right now, and it makes me happy.

Whoops! The glass:

Lovely! If you want the theme in song form, here’s Zoe Mulford with one I find quite beautiful:

Zoe Mulford - Elegy Crystal Glassyoutu.be Zoe Mulford performs at the Rose Garden Coffeehouse, Mansfield, Mass. on Saturday, Feb. 7, 2015. Mulford was the winner of the 2014 Performing Songwriter Com...

Wow. This was a thread I needed to see today.

Very much same. I’ve been ruminating for a while about that phrase, “to be loved is to be changed” and this helped me process how to better think about it positively.

I own a 100 year old 1st edition copy of a music book called The American Songbag. I scribble notes and annotations in it and it's well worn from traveling around in my backpack. It's a treasure, and it exists to be USED. 🎶

Use that beautiful, blank notebook. Go on. Write in it.

How dare! Right in the heart

I feel like this is a personal attack 😩

Not me dusting my collection of gorgeous, expensive, blank notebooks that I have kept on the shelf for 8 years now 🙃

I've watched enough Survivor to know that I don't want to leave the island with an idol in my pocket.

Who are we saving all these things for? Treasure them, yes, but for gods sake use them and enjoy them.

A lot of times, just surviving the day is plenty of reason to celebrate.

I tried to explain this to someone who was telling me to take one expensive candy out of the box as a treat maybe once a week. Fuck no I'm eating MY candy and if I don't have any tomorrow, well I had a bunch yesterday and had a blast.

As a poor teen I was given a box of hedgehog-shaped chocolate hazelnut truffles and they were so good that I rationed them for probably the better part of a year, because I literally didn't believe there was any way I would ever be able to have something that good again! 🥲

Was the last as good as the first or had the chocolate bloomed and the caramel crystallized? Rationing is a discipline, but it can go too far. My grandparents died before opening the good wine.

I think they might have been a LITTLE stale but not enough that I cared/noticed! XD I was sad when they were gone!

My mom had so many candles that she never burned because they were too nice ☹️

My parents ALWAYS used the fancy Wedgewood china that's rare, expensive, and near impossible to replace. For EVERY meal. My mother was a fond proponent of not saving things for 'special occasions,' because being around to use them is a special occasion.

I love the idea of her serving meatloaf, burgers, hot dogs, etc on Wedgewood China.

I had no idea it was 'special' until I got older. It was just... the dishes we ate on. PB&J cut into a Union Jack at the age of 5? On Wedgewood. Pancake breakfast at age 11? Wedgewood. Until I got older, I didn't really understand why we didn't have 'fine, never-used China' like other families...

Absolutely. I have “tidied” a lot since my beloved husband died. I have laid the Persian carpets all over the house. What on earth was he saving them for????

I shared this before. Still holds. Watching them wear 'the best' is such a joy. bsky.app/profile/siri...

I had some clothes - a sukajan embroidered jacket, a couple of dresses - I was 'saving for best'. So, never worn. But I also get a kick out of seeing my kids wear the things they love. I gave them the items. They wear them with glee even on casual days. And hopefully won't inherit my bad habit!

I love kintsugi for this reason. Objects have meaning because we live with them, use them so that they have the power to remind us our past. The wear and tear is part of objects beauty.

I think this is why I love used books so much. I love buying the ones rated as being very worn, because that means that the book has been made *special*. I love to see "this book belongs to ____" written inside the cover, and annotations in the margins, and scribbles and doodles, and criticisms.

I am the person who buys books anew and make them special 🤣 I draw, underline, write notes, think on the paper, sometimes paint in a book.

Been having this conversation with my peers a lot lately.

When we went through my Dad's house after he passed, we found boxed glasses in the cupboard that he and mom received for their wedding. Along with fancy dishes, etc. Never opened. So much stuff, never used. All donated: hope someone's using it now :)

I am so bad about this and need constant reminders to use the special things and stop saving them for... what, even?

This is why whisky doesn't last long in my house.

I love this so much.

game developers must cringe at their playerbase hoarding potions and scrolls and never using them, it must make the loot system feel like a pointless endeavor

Tunic developed a unique solution to this: Dying or teleporting to a save point refilled consumable quantities, and each consumable "levelled up" becoming more powerful through usage. This made players feel guilty for *not* using consumables before death as they'd missed valuable item experience.

I was about to say Dark Souls but consumable experience is new!

I don't know The amount of stuff I have in random Stardew Valley chests that fills me with joy just to have it... There are people playing that game with the sole goal of creating & filling whole buildings dedicated to sorted materials - one chest for each item - all with signage.

for sandbox games the calculation is different I’m sure I’m thinking more RPGs where you fight a final boss with x99 potions in your inventory you never used because you didn’t want to run out in the future

imma go open all my boxed shit right the fuck now

I wonder if part of the reason some folks do this is the hope "these things could be worth money some day", knowing that is lokely the only way they could experience wealth the way the economy is set up.

My grandmother hoarded Beanie Babies when they first came out. "These will sell for millions some day." They stayed in their boxes and packed up in trash bags, through 3 moves. Got peed on and chewed by mice, and ruined by mold. My parents threw them away after holding onto them for like 20 years.

Toys are meant to be played with and cared for, not locked in a box and neglected to the point of ruin.

My GreatGrandmother made a quilt for my Mom's first child before Greatgrandma died (Mom had no children yet). She made my Mom promise it would be used, not put away. I loved that quilt and used it until it fell apart. It wouldn't mean nearly as much if it had been "put away" for me.

That's lovely! As a quilter, thank you. My most treasured photos of the quilts I make are the blurry ones with happy children on them. It'd break my heart if they were put away rather than used.

Thank you. After my Grandmother died last year, we found two quilt tops that Greatgrandma never got to finish. Still figuring out to get them finished. Sewing projects still waiting to be finished 50 some years later 🙃

If you don't quilt yourself, you may find help with the Loose Ends project. They connect volunteer crafters and artists with people who want to get their loved ones' projects finished. looseends.org

LOOSE ENDSlooseends.org

Thank you!

You could hire a longarm quilter to finish them! I think all you need to do is press the quilt top (don't wash it) and they can provide the rest of the materials. You'd need one who'd be able to do the binding as well. I finished a quilt my friend's late mother had made them, and it was an honour.

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