The Onion: — Subium • Bluesky web client

Bored Riot Cops Break Up Calculus Classwww.theonion.com LOS ANGELES—Kicking down the unlocked classroom door after listlessly wandering around campus, bored riot cops reportedly broke up a calculus course at the University of California, Los Angeles, on Tu...

To be fair, they did find plenty of evidence of implements of maths instruction.

👏👏👏

I know it’s the onion, but I’m pretty sure this one is true

The writer of this deserves a meal on the onions dime. Like a $25 dollar meal. Amazing but not over priced.

so a burger from five guys? (no fries obv)

Well obviously the cops had to break it up, they even found tools of mass calculation.

Then you have pundits excusing it with “ ‘From 0 to infinity’ means you’re advocating genocide!”

To be fair, the students had weapons of math destruction.

Statistics prof said "the probability is 10 choose 6" and the university president said "Did you say Jews?" and the cops killed them all for antisemitism

I get that this is intended to integrate humor into current news, but the article is so derivative. As readers, we have limits. /s (and bad puns)

I'm sure that wasn't too obtuse to write

As a rule, everyone at their limit was sent to a French hospital.

I'm only surprised they didn't use breaching charges to blow the door open.

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Onion's got its fastball back.

Satire? Just asking as it seems entirely credible.

The cops are reportedly searching for the outside agitator who brought the book on "alternatives to integration."

This joke is so derivative.

They need to differentiate themselves from the competition.

What is this happening?..ye kya ho Raha hai..

don't give the cops any ideas, brah.

It's funny because a certain Palestinian-American comedian (Sammy Obeid) tells jokes about Palestine and Maths, it's like these fictional cops watch his shows & deduced a link.

I love the image, the students barely even disturbed. "If we ignore them, they'll get tuckered out and go away"

Too soon! 😂

It was a meth class after all.

Bernie Bros still throwing a temper tantrum?

Policing by numbers 🤷‍♂️

I wish they would have broken up my calculus class. Maybe I would have stayed awake.

Weak tea comedically compared to the Biden article from a week ago

They thought math was voodoo

Hostilities on university campuses are the integral variable which diminishes in quantity as animosity approaches zero.

This is funny. And maybe a little prescient. But also just funny. And (have to) it looks like they miscalculated.

Just sent this to my calculus professor

Sounds like typical tuesday in Russia.

i can see this happening

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