So I just found out that during a conversation about sex toys we had Sophie referred to something called "the goo" which she said she was going to bring next time we hung out. "The Goo" turns out to be Lidocaine gel. Lidocaine gel numbs the throat. She would tell people it was to make them drool.
Like I assumed this was a particularly weird sex toy, maybe something electrical in nature because she mentioned it couldn't be used with certain medical conditions, because that's how she was referring to it. I now find out it was a local anaesthetic.
A large part of how she did this was not tell people what it was beforehand. She would make out it was part of a secret training regime. I feel like if you're gonna do this stuff people need to know it's a medication ahead of time and what it does.
Combined with how she lovebombs you and then doesn't reply for ages after unless you're sexual with her, and how she constantly would talk about how people love her as a domme and feel safe with her even for hard kink, you have the perfect storm for agreeing to things like this coercively.
I feel like I don't need to say any more on this. Consider why someone who likes to inflict pain and scarring without proper negotiation would give people an anaesthetic without telling them what it is.
If you freaked out she'd also offer you weed to calm down. Weed makes you forgetful after the fact. Weed makes it harder to negotiate properly, and it's a good excuse for her to "slip up" as she did with me.
Absolutely! I could see this being a fun element to play with given consent and safety but you absolutely can’t be playing coy about this kind of stuff.
oh yeah she was a big fan of the goo! she especially seemed to enjoy not telling people what it was and was visibly annoyed when i told her i already knew
As a heads up, most "last longer" type sprays or gels marketed at sex shops are lidocaine based. They are often at higher doses than most over the counter lidocaine gels. Great for electrolysis or tattoos, absolutely not something you should be springing on someone without their knowledge!!
I mention this because like, yeah if it's a sex shop one I can see how you might phrase it as a sex toy, but this one was not and she was phrasing it like it was a sex toy.
That's gnarly, I've accidentally gotten some of the sex shop type in my mouth before while numbing for electrolysis and I like couldn't taste for a few hours, dental grade is wild 😬
I mean it depends on what strength you get it in I think but regardless I don't think you should tell people a medication is a sex toy especially without telling people what it is as part of the play.
Why would you try to trick people you want to be in a relationship with, even casually? This feels so petty and weird, like it doesn't make sense unless her kink was 'getting one over on people who trust me'
I knew someone who would deliberately do things people would never want to have happen to them that nobody would feel a need to establish as a limit. For instance, she bragged about slapping someone's ear, because they didn't specify it as a limit ahead of time.
I've noticed that there are a lot of people who get into BDSM under the mistaken assumption that it's a one-way power exchange, and "sub" equals "isn't allowed to say no."
So basically just toxic GMs, but they're allowed to touch you.
God reading through this thread is harrowing. she is skirting the boundaries of consent which makes it hard to prove what she is actually doing to people. I genuinely hope you get some closure on this, honestly.
reading this makes me wanna hurl. not like throwing up, i want to hurl this person into a lake
u probably know but, this person's actions arent in any way your fault. and u did the right thing by warning others before someone got physically hurt (not ignoring the mental, but *surprise* lidocaine ?)
I've done my best to say she's talking shite every time this has come back up but there's still people out there convinced she's done the work. She's never mentioned this to people as far as I know, she just leaves this bit out.
I have so much regret about opening up to her & sending her money back then. As more comes out it is clearer how manipulative she is, so I shouldn't feel so ashamed, especially as I didn't lose as much as some to her, but I hate that I helped her do it by unknowingly funding her campaign of abuse.
She's really good at manipulation. I fell for it and I pride myself on being able to spot things like this most of the time. I think I pieced it together more than most at a quicker rate but she still got what she wanted out of me, so y'know don't beat yourself up about it I guess.
Yes, and I'm sorry if I was trying to make this about me, I was trying to sympathise and did a bad job.
At least your post reminded me that I hadn't actually blocked her on here, and was, in fact, still following! That's been fixed now, obviously.
