Alan Beattie: Is it theoretically possible to get less than zero votes in an election? Let’s find out! 11 days of this to go folks.

38 days of this to go folks. (h/t @katie0martin.bsky.social)

37 and a bit days of this to go folks.

36 days of this to go folks.

Five weeks of this to go folks. (h/t @RobDotHutton)

34 days of this to go, folks.

The worst video in the history of political communication. 32 days of this to go folks. x.com/rishisunak/s...

Predictably taken apart by Labour. 32 days of this to go folks. x.com/uklabour/sta...

Rishi Sunak photobombed by entire boatful of Liberal Democrats, apparently doesn't notice. 31 days of this to go folks. www.youtube.com/shorts/-3s7L...

Rishi Sunak photobombed by Lib Dem boat whilst campaigning in Oxfordshirewww.youtube.com Rishi Sunak has been photobombed by a Liberal Democrat boat whilst campaigning in Oxfordshire.Read all the latest from the election campaigns https://www.tel...

Again: as a former Scout who knows which way the Union Flag goes up. I would literally be better at this than CCHQ. 31 days of this to go folks.

Civil service says please don't claim that non-civil service calculations are actually done by civil servants. Sunak goes ahead and claims that they are. Recriminations and hilarity ensue. 29 days of this to go folks.

Comment would be superfluous. 28 days of this to go folks.

Comment again superfluous. 28 days of this to go folks.

Comment, etc. 27 days of this to go folks. (h/t @RobL_L)

The “least said, soonest mended” strategy. 26 days of this to go folks.

Asking for forgiveness doesn't scream "confident campaigning" to me. 24 days of this to go folks.

Disaster for the Tories but I note that Ed Davey playing tennis and arsing around in water parks attracts the least criticism of any of the major national parties. The British people have sound judgment. 24 days to go folks.

I’m no expert but this seems bad. 23 days of this to go folks.

Sky TV didn’t launch until Sunak was 9, by which point he was already at private school. He came back early from the D-Day commemorations to do this interview. 22 days of this to go folks.

Tory candidate issues leaflet that doesn't mention own party but features photo of her with leader of rival party. Apparently no repercussions from leadership of own party. 21 days of this to go folks.

The Tories have essentially existed as a party since the late 17th century. Reform are five years old and changed their leader ten days ago. 21 days of this to go folks.

The lad can’t catch a break. 18 days of this to go folks. (H/t @brokenbanker.bsky.social)

Conservative prime minister attempts to reinstate Corn Laws. 17 days of this to go folks.

Catnip becomes kryptonite. 15 days of this to go folks.

At least he won’t have to decide when to resign as leader. 14 days of this to go folks.

Come on, election scriptwriters, wind it in a bit. This is a touch implausible. 14 days of this to go folks.

Is it theoretically possible to get less than zero votes in an election? Let’s find out! 11 days of this to go folks.

A four-way barney between Nigel Farage, the Tory Party, the Daily Mail and the Kremlin. Can't begin to imagine how Betfair or William Hill would go about making a book on that, though I imagine someone on CCHQ has money on the outcome. Ten days of this to go folks.

Inside the tent pissing on everyone else in the tent, since everyone else in the tent is a shower of shit. Excretory overload. Ten days of this to go folks. (h/t @katie0martin.bsky.social) www.theguardian.com/politics/art...

Tories are a ‘shower of shit’, says Conservative candidate James Cracknellwww.theguardian.com Former Olympian standing in Colchester adds: ‘If one of my teammates got caught for cheating they’d be dead to me’

Officers no longer go down with the ship but elbow the ratings aside on the way to the lifeboats, it seems. Bad form, chaps. Bad form. Nine days of this to go folks.

Guys, don’t forget you’ll be applying for jobs in two weeks’ time. “I was the social media genius who sent out the tax tweet” won’t look great on your CV. Eight days of this to go folks. [literally ten pages of “tax tax tax” omitted for brevity]

Tories produce election material designed to make people think it's an HMRC letter. By next week they'll be sending round fake warnings from local councils telling people they'll go to jail if they vote Labour. Seven days of this to go folks.

The Conservative Party is drunk. Seven days of this to go folks. (h/t @robfordmancs.bsky.social, who correctly asks why Angela Rayner is dressed as Super Mario promising to ban a thing people don’t like, and why there is a French flag emoji.) x.com/Conservative...

x.comx.com

Notwithstanding the fact that a majority of polled people respond ‘yeah, I don’t mind paying a bit more tax if the roads get fixed and I can see my GP’

They’ve set up a fake account at the other place, purporting to be a ‘Tax Check’. It isn’t. It’s propaganda.

Hold on, if businesses are paying 1.25k in taxes per employee, that means the 2k per household the Tories were warning about would be considerably reduced, right?

The fuck

Fine point, crisply made. I thought similar.

I see the Conservative social media team have relocated to the Overlook Hotel.

I don't think you'd post this if you hadn't already given up on your career. Given up on most things tbh. Hope they're ok

Good entry in the race to determine which political party is the least serious in the G7.

You keep ending your posts with "x days of this to go folks", suggesting a jaded exasperation, even though you're clearly loving every minute of it...

Ssshhh!

Bloody hell. It's like watching the last gasp of the Third Reich - retrench, retrench to the ever-dwindling centre! May it end, to paraphrase Eddie Izzard on Hitler, '...in a ditch. Covered in petrol. On fire.'

Conrad wrote a book about this, I believe. I doubt they will disappear and never be heard of again, like Captain Gustav.

Lord Jim - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

my understanding is that said former Olympian wanted to be Tory candidate for Henley given his rowing connections, and was given the bum's rush on account of being a fully paid up member of the excrement club himself...

How rich. The Lord Haw Haw of our times is nonsensically calling the kettle black.

bylinetimes.com/2024/06/19/t...

The Five Questions Nigel Farage is Never Asked About Brexit, Trump and Russiabylinetimes.com As the media provides the Reform Leader with a prominent platform once more during this general election campaign, Peter Jukes considers all the concerning lines of enquiry that journalists never conf...

Can we pls hear how high up the news agenda Russian TV is putting this story. Is it higher or lower than than a horse running wild in Saratov.

I fear for the NHS: all those people playing ‘every time the Tories screw up, have a drink’ now have irreversible cirrhosis.

You lot are lucky. We’ve still got 5 more months of this shite.

To be fair we all have 5 more months of your shite.

joke's on all of us because honestly it just never ends

at this point honestly I'm expecting the Tories to get 7% of the vote nationally and still slithering in with a two-seat majority

They'll still have 80-100 seats I reckon. It's going to be a great night though.

No, let's bet on whether that is possible

Head of data. Head. Of. Data. Oh my word.

I doubt it. That would need a negative vote to be possible. A vote might be invalid for more than one reason, but "invalid" and "negative" are not the same.

I'm likely quite ignorant here but...why does this matter?

We are putting ourselves in the position of being profoundly disappointed if they reach double figures.

I mean at this rate they are going to have fewer and fewer people to cast votes for….

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