Wilbur72

@wilbur72.bsky.social

810

Followers

524

Following

3607

Posts

Joker, drinker, bad golfer. Jersey boy living in NC.

bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaac7t7cqngtq

Posts Replies Media

Reposted by

Wilbur72

People with phlegm stuck in their lungs are all hawk and no tuah.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

my bff hasn’t had sex in 20 yrs & says she never masturbates cuz she doesn’t feel the need to & im here on my couch ready to jerk off cuz i just crossed my legs😳

America’s Got Talent: Skeets Edition

Reposted by

Wilbur72

We all agree you're the bees knees

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Relationship status: I can't read the word dishonest without doing a Sean Connery accent

Reposted by

Wilbur72

a bath bomb that actually blows you up

Reposted by

Wilbur72

I’m not as forgiving as I used to be. After the 83rd chance, I’m done.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Woke up this morning and finished my beer from last night. Lower your voice when talking to me.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

According to WebMD it’s not butterflies in my tummy, it’s gas.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Practice safe sex by putting sofa covers on your couches.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

My dog has the cutest tush.

I enjoy eating out I also like going to restaurants 😏

I know it’s Thursday night but I’m on vacay so you guys need to kick it up a notch

Reposted by

Wilbur72

*barstool pizza review guy voice* One bite, everybody knows the rules

Reposted by

Wilbur72

He's just like all the other men... always a couch, but never a love seat.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

a book called “Scoop” about a reporter who goes undercover to do an exposé of ice-cream vendors somebody write that down

Reposted by

Wilbur72

It’s just like my dad used to say: “You can build a thousand bridges in your lifetime, but you fuck one couch….”

I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I saw a butthole

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Ohio and Iowa are the same place

Reposted by

Wilbur72

If politicians are shamed for having sex with their couch, I could never run for office.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

9 out of 10 people on social media recommend physically having sex with someone regularly before posting about how good you are at it.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Enlightenment is lowkey goated when spiritual awakening is the vibe

Reposted by

Wilbur72

I'm cutting back. Only drinking from the kneecaps of my enemies.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Football needs to start so I have something different to be sad about.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

It’s shocking to me that none of the turtles in my pond wear top hats or monocles.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

I’m seeing a lot of couch advertisements lately and they’re seriously turning me on.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Pretty soon we’ll be arguing in front of a Supreme Court about whether or not a couch can actually consent.

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Fancy me ya fokin wanka

Reposted by

Wilbur72

Got a six pack of different colored post it notes so I’m ready to fuck shit up now

Reposted by

Wilbur72

who up rubbin’ they dub dub