melissa~: Bluesky devs: we have heard your requests and finally added DMs to the app! me: oh god Bluesky DM: *notif pops up* me: *clicks it reluctantly* BS DM: okay so uh you all meet at a tavern. and it's raining i guess?

Bluesky devs: we have heard your requests and finally added DMs to the app! me: oh god Bluesky DM: *notif pops up* me: *clicks it reluctantly* BS DM: okay so uh you all meet at a tavern. and it's raining i guess?

absolutely would, ok. Casting detect traps cause i don’t trust these barstools.

*Rolls a 12* You know 2 are a Mimic, but you can't tell which 2

Chilchuck Tims has had the last word on Mimics for me, I’m sick of their shit

They can't get you if you come at them from behind, right? ...Right?!

I haven't played in ages, but should I get the chance, I'd love to play a legendary ranger who's renowned throughout the land... but is actually a total fraud. But he speaks mimic, and made a deal with a powerful mimic to pretend to be his armour & fight for him in exchange for getting the corpses.

E.g. so is always prominently and insistently calling everyone "FRIEND!" to try to get the mimic to not eat them (& still has to roll it), & everyone rolls perception in combat to see if they noticed the mimic attacking.

I love this idea

Basically, the character's only actual skills (charlatan background) would be in linguistics and persuasion, and most of roleplay would be about gaslighting the party into thinking that they didn't see things that they actually saw, and coming up for excuses for the character's odd behavior ;)

The new monster book Flee Mortals has directions for having a mimic companion!

Time to destroy every stool in the pub. You know what? Let's just set the entire pub on fire

Tavern keeper: "Mimics? Not in this kingdom, my dear fellows!" He laughs. The party laughs. The table laughs. The party attacks the table.

do you require a safe word for BS DM?

Port tip: Never choose "harder", "faster" or "deeper" as your safeword.

Doing a charisma roll to see if I can hit on the shadowy figure lurking in the corner.

I'm not proud of it, but I would pay a monthly subscription for this feature.

As I trust none of this, I would like to roll for perception, please

nat 20, let's go

Nat 20 is more fun than botching :) DM: "The villager charges you with a sword." Char: "I swore an oath to pacifism; I refuse to kill him." DM: "He'll be there in seconds." Char: "I fire an arrow to disarm him." DM: "Roll."

My brain is so poisoned. 😮‍💨

IS THE BAR MAID HOT?

Where's the Mountain Dew‽

I pull out my crystal ball and sit in the corner scrolling Bluesky

You are approached by a mysterious figure that is obviously three kobolds in a trenchcoat. They offer you a pouch of gold if you will go and rescue their pet dragon, which has been abducted by evil humans.

I roll to seduce the Minotaur bartender!

She's obviously horny.

WHERES THE MOUNTAIN DEW?

Does this mean we will have to roll some D20s to see if our posts will show up in other people's feeds?

The fun part is when you have to roll to block.

So which stat modifier should I use on the roll? Charisma or Wisdom.

if we had any Wisdom we wouldn't be on this, or indeed any, social network

Sorry I’ve been rolling straight Nat 1s every time I open my phone.

😂 D&DM’s . . . . . . . . .

Strahd Von Zarovich: "u up?"

Damn I left my salt golem out in the rain

I've heard once you make it you can never get the recipe again. Oh no!

BsDSmBdsm IV - emulator and diagnostic book for kink minded folks

Did they say when the DM will arrive ? Cause I already have ideas for my character

perfect

regrettably “brennan as a dom dm from make some noise” isn’t in the library

if it's raining why is this place called "bluesky"? I say, casting an insight check

Does the rain come with a side of aurora borealis? This Aussie rolled a one and can't see shit 🥲

This post and all the whimsical reply threads are absolutely the quality content for which I signed up. ❤️ you wonderful nerds.

That's some prime BS by a BS DM. Have some imagination, or at least some conviction!

I'm pissed that I didn't realize until like the third read through of this what the joke was

Long have we gone with the normies referring to our hobby as "S&M" or "some weird satanic fetish thing". Now we participate with the aid of a BS DM? Glorious! Our kink destiny has come full circle! ((NGL, this would be a far superior feature for Bluesky to add!))

i have darkvision. can i roll to not be ambushed

This is an excellent post lmao

cues up semi-mandatory Moody Blues "Every Good Boy Deserves Favour" vinyl..... (although Seventh Sojurn would also be acceptable)

I *wish*!

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