KW is here for jokes and stuff

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KW is here for jokes and stuff

@kristenwarner.bsky.social

I’ve now collected all the stones. Time for the Thanos snap thing. Professor, untapped comedienne/flight attendant.
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Oh hey.
Giuliani is not named, and he is not accused of crimes by UA. But it is, in effect, Ukraine saying that it not only believes--but can and intends to prove--that Giuliani's 2019 allegations about corrupt payments to Hunter Biden in 2019 were forgeries made by, and laundered to him, by Russia's GRU.
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She got over her skis in a few places, but the story line - that the Russians were talking to Trump World - was true. Biggest damage was releasing the Steele file and then allowing Trumpers to say that because some of the stuff in a raw intel dump was untrue, nothing else could possibly be true.
She was right, and her crime was that her target was too… narrow? She was just early to predicting a worldwide, semi-coordinated global authoritarian movement. People were expecting a big reveal, a smoking gun check between Putin and Trump with “smooches” in the memo line. Not sure that’s on her.
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North Carolina’s descent in one-party rule today deserves as much attention as Mike Johnson’s past. We’re talking about a state of 11 million suddenly having an election-proof GOP government.
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Next up on Fox: we ask Jenna Ellis, who has stated that she understood the law so poorly that she accidentally committed a felony, about the law
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Israel is in an impossible situation here. No matter what course of action they take, they lose. The Palestinian people are also in an impossible situation. No matter what, they lose. Meanwhile, white supremacists hate Jews *and* Muslims & are loving all of this. This is all horrible.
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The US media could be doing much better covering the current conflict, but concerns about a humanitarian catastrophe in Gaza are pretty front-and-center on the front pages of the NYT and WaPo. Not what I'd expect to see given the reactions here! And nothing like the immediate post-9/11 period
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Look, the immediate crisis now is Gaza. But I will never forget or forgive the people whose first reaction to the murder of Jews was enthusiasm. It is very clear who they really are at this point.
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Day 1: cheering on the murder of Jews Day 8: denying the murder of Jews actually happened.
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Two major Speaker candidates already splitting the vote… Trump looming as a wild card… Disputes over motion to vacate… Acrimony over the Gaetz 8… Already calls to RESTORE McCarthy… Tiny majority needing 98% to elect someone… This is not heading to a smooth conclusion.
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Why didn't Democrats make a deal with a guy who just broke the big spending deal he made with them and refused to offer them anything? Inquiring DC journalists want to know!
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Jake said fuck. He clearly is on Bluesky.
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remember republicans are not to blame for not getting own their shit together and forcing mccarthy to work with the democrats to keep the government running but democrats are to blame for republicans not getting their shit together to protect mccarthy from gaetz
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And everyone is mad that Dems didn’t rush to put out the fire Kevin set
“I want you to watch Nancy Pelosi hand me that gavel. It will be hard not to hit her with it.” -Kevin McCarthy, August 1, 2021
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The next Speaker of the House will be decided by lottery tomorrow. If you are selected, you will receive a loud alert on your phone at approximately 2:20pm EDT. If you hear that noise, congratulations you are the new Speaker of the House
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we're on the road to WrestleMania
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it doesn't look like he's having fun in court (Getty)
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Eastern seaboard y’all need to drink some milk. Me and plane travel is a necessary kind of relationship but y’all make me wanna drive. And I hate long distance driving.
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Will be very....*interesting*....to see if Republicans decide not to seat Feinstein's replacement on the Judiciary Committee. Ya know, the thing that everyone calling for her to resign immediately pretended wouldn't be an issue for her replacement.
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If you’re lgbtq+ in america, put some respect on Feinstein’s name today. She was the first national politician who went out there and fought for us when many leftist politicians wouldn’t even say the word “gay” in public
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Just the classiest people
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Let’s see if this spot is thinking harder about the senate and Feinstein than the other spot. Will y’all actually realize that the lady stayed to keep the judicial appointments flowing or…is this also magical realism place?
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The way I’m suddenly sleepy but I have three hours before this concert starts.
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NBC had a segment on Biden’s dog biting a Secret Service agent today and all I could think about was Trump calling for the execution of Mark Milley like two days ago.
Political career-ending in any actual functioning democracy. Will be gone from the front pages, replaced by articles on Biden’s age, within days here.
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judge has ordered 2 top Trump officials, former DHS secretary Kirstjen Nielsen and AG Jeff Sessions, to be deposed in lawsuit over family separations. would mark the first time the former officials have been ordered to testify in one of dozens of lawsuits www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/...
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The WGA won BIG and should be extremely proud and we’re also not going to shame any mommies and daddies who work for the non winning studios who could have made this deal months ago but chose to try to force families into financial hardship and loss of homes
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this tony soprano really likes ducks
End of feed.