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Oh you want me to touch grass? Do you know how bad grass is for the environment? Why are you cheerleading excessive water use and chemical runoff? How about you stop touching grass and go touch some native wildflowers and pollinator habitats you monster.
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i am allergic to grass you insensitive piece of shit
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what’s next, “go pet a dog?” “go for a walk in the woods?” monster
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There are bears in the woods!
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Worse, there may be men!
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Apropos of nothing, it seems I have roughly four months to figure out The Discourse costume for Halloween.
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Some of us are more of otters.
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and those bloody ticks
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That's a major selling point of the woods.
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I touched lake and felt nothing. I'm dead inside
Touching grass isn't enough. I need to touch lake
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Awww your face you look so unhappy LOL
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I hate taking pictures of myself but feel compelled to post 🤷🏼‍♂️
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thank u for wearing a safety vest tho
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You've mastered only two elements. Fire and Air await.
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oh the WOODS? where BEARS shit?
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are cats not good enough?? monster
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I made a skeet a while back that I thought was hilarious but nobody else did that was like “the person you’re telling to touch grass won’t see your post but the Jurassic sauropod that went extinct before grasses evolved will”
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Hahahahaha that's hilarious
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new plan: touching regionally-appropriate xeriscaping
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or moss moss is sooofftt
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Was literally just thinking of things native to where I live and came up with "touch moss and ferns"
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This is what I'm saying!!! Yes! bsky.app/profile/miss...
"Touch Grass" is propaganda by Big Lawn. Normalize destroying grass in favor of native ground covers to support return of insect life and biodiversity.
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Not all grass is turf grass! My regionally appropriate bluestem and switch grasses are both ornamental and excellent wildlife habitat. #notallgrasses #touchbettergrass #checkforticks
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I know you’re joking but this is like every other post on mastodon.
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Aaaaaaaaaaand that's why I'm not on mastadon 🤣
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Yeah I find myself posting more here these days. I can’t tell if it’s because here is qualitatively better, or if it’s just that I have hundreds of followers instead of thousands.
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I think this place is what you make it. The lack of algorithm really lets you curate the experience.
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I don’t understand why people say it lacks an algorithm. This place has tons of algorithms!
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Well just because the timeline is chronological.
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telling someone to touch vetch and clover
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So you hate clover??
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Some of the folks who enjoy this post may also enjoy the native plants feed #nativeplants 🌱 bsky.app/profile/did:...
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or they mean - or need - a different type of grass? medicinal grass?
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I know this is supposed to be funny, but it’s a perfect distillation of what most of the replies I get from strangers on mastodon are like! 😭
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LOL jinx bsky.app/profile/fray...
I know you’re joking but this is like every other post on mastodon.
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BRB Licking clover. … … … AAAAAAHHH!!! SPICY SKY RAISINS! I LICKED A BEE! (❤️)
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That is a grouping of words that I never expected to see all together.
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Hai! Clover is good for you. The bees are not. Their honey is, though. Bees do not taste like honey. 🦊✨
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Someone very dear to me got hurt by grass, once. Is a little sensitivity really too much to ask?
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I *genuinely* got "telling people to touch grass is ableist!!!" once. I was done with the internet that day.