Ian Martin

@ianmartin.bsky.social

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Ghost Pensioner

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Ian Martin

'Cellulose nitrate was used to make dice from the late 1860s until the mid twentieth century, and remains stable for decades. Nitric acid is released in a process called outgassing. The dice cleave, crumble, and then implode.' Deception, Fate & Rotten Luck by Ricky Jay and Rosamond Purcell

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You had me at “exceedingly dry in-jokes for recherché subcultures”

Ooh, my mate Michael Holden's written a beautiful piece. And the book is excellent too. Gnarly realities of care, bleak but blackly funny. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

For years I was my parents’ reluctant carer. Then I was told I was making things worsewww.theguardian.com I was there through their infirmity, incontinence, our cohabitation - and suddenly I was fired

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The Gate by Hans Hofmann, 1959 https://botfrens.com/collections/212/contents/137894

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The lobby did a generally decent job last night. But this language/mindset around British Muslim voting trends is profoundly unsettling and offensive.

Oh this is quite funny.

So to confirm, now we have near-final numbers: Every time 19 Tory MPs get a bit grumpy this parliament and stick their letters into the 1922 Committee... ...it'll automatically trigger a leadership contest.

Didn't have the stamina/drugs to stay up all night. Did a 1997 all-nighter but that was 27 years ago and I was only...44. Could still run up stairs two at a time. Still the other side of cancer, COPD, neuro shit and whatnot. I know, Reform etc but fuck it, this could be my last one. I'm HAVING it. 🕺

A deeply uncharismatic Labour PM who nevertheless got quite a lot done in under six years. Cabinet of driven people on a mad pirate mission. It was like a traffic warden had got the Beatles together.

I have a sneaking regard for the Star, not least for its use of "fewer"...

Liz Truss getting pushed out is the cherry on the cake. Didn't even stay to acknowledge, congratulate and thank people, just slunk off. She represented everything that was selfish and stupid about the Tories. Yeah, fuck off.

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To my American friends who are looking on with disbelief at the names of the UK’s MPs and Constituencies. I’ll just point this out. www.ranker.com/list/funny-p...

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Called mum and asked if she’d voted. She said she had voted for Kenny Steamer. #KennySteamer

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Yes, Reece, we know you feel under appreciated. You say it in every interview you do.

Steve Coogan is rightly revered as a near genius level comedic writer and actor. Same for Chris Morris. Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith should be considered in that same bracket and I don't quite think they are somehow.

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Cheers everyone!

"And tonight we're gonna party* like it's 1997..." *stay up for exit polls, go to bed, up at 4 a.m

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Piece by me today in The New European on the political philosophy that Keir Starmer should adopt. (Behind paywall but you can read it for free if you register. In itself not a bad metaphor for the piece - the market society must be made to work for all.) www.theneweuropean.co.uk/what-is-the-...

What is the philosophy of Starmerism?www.theneweuropean.co.uk How can a new government make Britain better – and what does ‘better’ even mean nowadays?

Hey, old people - don't forget to remind young people to vote! And remember to remind them to bring photo ID! And remember to remind them to remember their address! God, young people must love old people so very fucking much.

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“there’s only one poll that matters” sounds like one of boris johnson’s chat up lines

Just voted. Walking back, felt a stone lighter and a foot taller.

Righteous anger, too, is a dish best served cold. @jonnelledge.bsky.social on how the Tories broke Britain. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

An (incomplete) list of every terrible policy the Conservatives have inflicted on Britain since 2010 | Jonn Elledgewww.theguardian.com Readers, brace yourselves, says the writer Jonn Elledge

TORIES SEND ONE LAST HEARTFELT MESSAGE TO THE NATION

Vote Labour, or this demented school fee-paying woman posing with a salad will be in your dreams every night asking to be tickled again and turning weird and violent if you don't.

Zadie Smith, tribune. www.theguardian.com/politics/art...

‘Here comes the sun’: Zadie Smith on hope, trepidation and rebirth after 14 years of the Torieswww.theguardian.com I used to shock US audiences with my stories of Britain’s excellent, accessible universities and healthcare. Then the Conservatives ruined the country. Now real change is on the horizon

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Reply to

Twlldun

OH WAIT IT GETS EVEN BETTER

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Looking forward to retweeting this thread when the exit poll drops

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Ian Martin

One of the all time great TV moments - the conclusion of Around The World In 80 Days, where Michael Palin arrives in London in mid-December, and finds that a smattering of decorations are up but that nobody's in the mood for Christmas - or for him... timworthington.org/2023/12/12/l...

Like The Jolly Christmas Lights Of Regent Street, They Are To Prove Sadly Deceptivetimworthington.org It's December 1988, and Michael Palin is back in London after travelling around the world - but will the lack of festive cheer stop him from making his eighty day deadline?

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I’ve been to many places that give you a wonderful glimpse of the past, but rarely before have I had the past glimpse 👀back at me. Green Man boss from the medieval cloisters at Norwich Cathedral.

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“Enjoy your ‘likes,’ Tina. I hope they were worth my dignity.”

couldn't resist www.bringbackbritishrail.org/product/bump...

Bumper Sticker - Bring Back British Railwww.bringbackbritishrail.org Including free stickers and delivery in the UK. The Bring Back British Rail bumper stickers feature the special ‘reverse arrows’ logo designed by Fraser Muggeridge studio. Screenprinted onto weatherpr...