Jackie Kirkham

@jackiekirkham.bsky.social

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Author (The Calm Place), research nurse, nerd, Scotland. Into books and nature. Appreciates a good rant. https://books2read.com/thecalmplace

Posts Replies Media

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

Tory plans to elect a new leader hampered because all but 2 of their 1922 committee lost their seats.

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Jackie Kirkham

Happy World Chocolate Day to all who celebrate! Here’s a special playlist I made for the day… 10. Arctic Munchies 9. Tobleronan Keating 8. Bay City Rolos 7. Björkie 6. Picnic! At The Disco 5. Right Said Freddo 4. Jimi Hendtwix 3. Penguin Stefani 2. Everything But The Twirl 1. Jefferson Aero Plain

FAO @scgowland.bsky.social @gmwhitewrites.bsky.social

Turns out I really enjoy the feeling of schadenfreude, and have had plenty of opportunities to feel it today. Douglas Ross losing was particularly sweet.

Amongst all the election brouhaha, I want to say happy 76th birthday to the #NHS. I hope the election result brings you a reprieve, and the new Health Sec isn't as awful as I fear he may be.

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Okay so to be clear we are destroying power grids, the livelihoods of actual humans beings, and communication/research infrastructure for the sake of an algorithm that converts stolen data into unreliable stolen data and consistently loses millions of dollars. Just to be clear

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Ten shows about the Tories’ time in power: 10. Meal or No Meal 9. Mock the Weak 8. Never Mind the Buzzwords 7. Whose Lie is it Anyway? 6. Who Wants to Be a Billionaire? 5. Last of the Summer Wine and Cheese 4. White Line of Duty 3. Faulty Powers 2. Have I Got an Excuse for You? 1. 8 Out of 10 Prats

Latest newsletter - it's my book birthday! open.substack.com/pub/jackieki...

Happy book birthday to me!open.substack.com A question, new chapbook, and celebration.

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Jackie Kirkham

Just saw some extremely bad writing advice, so: You're a writer if you're not writing right now. You're a writer if you write 1 short story a year. You're a writer if you take breaks. You're a writer if you're still working on *that* story or poem. There's no *one* way. This isn't Highlander.

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If you've ever been to a hospital, Healthcare Support Workers do a lot of the heavy lifting (sometimes literally) in looking after patients. Notice them. Thank them. They're underpaid.

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Jackie Kirkham

A conversation on our Discord has prompted me to say again: remember, y'all, what really sells books is not the author talking about their work, but *readers* talking about it. Word of mouth drives far more sales than advertising or any other engine. So if you loved a book, tell your friends!

My formerly local coots/heron (or at least probably descendents of the ones who were my locals). No messing with the coots!

TIL that the coots in Queen's Park can and will attack a heron. 🪶 [CW: ultraviolence, because coots.] 1. The enemy is sighted. 2. Target acquired...

I like this game! N: Lerwick (Shetland) or Helsinki (Finland) - apparently both the same latitude. E: Varnita (Moldova). S: Keetmanshoop (Namibia). W: Vancouver (Canada).

Furthest I've ever been: N: Inverie (Scotland) E: Budapest S: Canary Islands W: Los Angeles

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I’m sorry you mistook my dull and vacant stare for wisdom

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Reply to

Kate Watson

Something very nasty indeed could slither into power wearing the remains of the Tory party as a sort of respectability skin suit.

New newsletter: Highs and Lows. open.substack.com/pub/jackieki...

Highs and lowsopen.substack.com Writing, lawn, shenanigans.

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Jackie Kirkham

It’s meant to be.

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I went and wrote another essay. This one's about folk music, specifically folk music in the hey-dilly-dilly-let's-go-slaughter-all-the-whales tradition. aeon.co/essays/folks...

Folksong is the art of hard labour, not of environmentalism | Aeon Essaysaeon.co Don’t be swayed by the sound of environmental protest: these songs were first sung in the voice of the cutter, not the tree

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Popular PDF viewer: Hi! I can now summarise your document using AI!! 🎉 Me: Can you print it with the correct margins on a piece of A4 paper? ... Popular PDF viewer: Hi! I can now summarise your document using AI!! 🎉

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Pay-it-Forward May 2024: A FREE assessment (worth £60) for three UK-based indie-authors of a self-published paperback, including feedback on the general presentation of your book, with tips and guidance for improvement. Learn more: www.blot.co.uk/services/pay... #IndieAuthor #SelfPublishing

Blot Publishing – Services: Pay-it-Forward Schemewww.blot.co.uk Help for struggling and disadvantaged indie authors

I spent over 2 hours this afternoon trying to do a tech book admin task that took less than 2 minutes once I eventually realised the obvious thing I was missing. I told my daughter about this, her response: "So when you came to pick me up, that's why you looked like... an orange!" Um, I guess.

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"Bring back The Troubles but make it racist this time" is, uh, a take..

Somehow this cretin is always worse when he opines on something you know a bit about. I would like to see him go into a lake in a Tesla right about now.

Apologies for the link from the other place, but this is what I got up to this afternoon. Thoroughly enjoyed my first author reading, the audience was the teachers from my daughter's school on their in-service day. twitter.com/ST_NINIANS_P...

St Ninians Primary on X: "Embedding&developing our whole school reading culture this afternoon with a walk&talk to @Waterstones. Thanks to the staff for taking us through best sellers,&allowing us to browse& explore. Huge thanks also to @JackieKirkham for reading from #TheCalmPlace. @scottishbktrust https://t.co/2Z4EyoO7Lv" / Xtwitter.com Embedding&developing our whole school reading culture this afternoon with a walk&talk to @Waterstones. Thanks to the staff for taking us through best sellers,&allowing us to browse& explore. Huge thanks also to @JackieKirkham for reading from #TheCalmPlace. @scottishbktrust https://t.co/2Z4EyoO7Lv

For the first time in what feels like ages, I wrote a newsletter. Sunshine in the cracks: open.substack.com/pub/jackieki...

Sunshine in the cracksopen.substack.com On spring bursting out everywhere

Saw my first swallows of the year today! Welcome back you fizzing balls of energy, from a fan who is doing well not to have had an extra nap today.

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Jackie Kirkham

one of the most singularly terrible realizations in life is the day that you look around and go, wait, there’s no magical Adult Threshold that you cross where it all suddenly makes sense and you know how to budget and fold a fitted sheet there’s just you, forever, except with fewer working joints

Adults are children faking it. Suddenly it all makes sense

Spent today in Leith (mum's taxi duties). Loved the library (where I spent much of the day). Slightly weirded out by the enormous number of dentists though - there were practices everywhere I looked! Are teeth in Leith particularly bad?

I wrote a thing! A yearly miracle: open.substack.com/pub/jackieki...

I have started writing on substack: jackiekirkham.substack.com/ This replaces the newsletter link on the final page of my book (which it turns out I'm too technologically inept to have got to work long-term). It will be my home for thoughts on nature, environment, place, calm, and general nerdery.

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This. Right here.

Why isn’t AI doing the tedious shit for creative people instead of doing the creative shit for tedious people