Chris

@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social

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Everyone always comments on how fucky the shark looks, but no one ever mentions how the dude he's eating is completely bricked up

My stupid dick when I've put it back in my pants after we've finished up at the urinal:

LLM's have given us a cool, new update of the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect: "You read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page [...] and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read."

One of the advantages, if you want to call it that, of having information of your own that you can check on Large Language Models, is that you quickly understand how badly they get what you know wrong, and if they get that wrong, what are they getting wrong that you DON'T know about?

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rdm5269.bsky.social

There is no mechanism for Biden to make Trump ineligible to be President by stripping him of his U.S. citizenship. However, Biden COULD make him ineligible for the office by writing an executive order declaring that at the federal level, Trump is perpetually 34 years of old.

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gamera obscura

bsky.app/profile/ohro...

I can’t think of a clever caption for this. It just breaks my fucking heart.

Oh man. Just look at this barefooted bastard. You know those pants just absolutely reeked of ripe piss and rotten apples.

This is unreal. From the single released CCTV video showing what Mar-a-lago guests had access to, it was clear that Trump had a whole stash of Ecto Cooler just sitting there.

My wife's not gonna know how to thank me when she finds out I put our entire savings into a collection of Gunthers—literally secured our retirement in a single afternoon of shrewd ebay sniping!

I remember when state quarters started rolling in it was a pretty big deal but now there’s all sorts of stuff on them, I think there’s one with Ross from Friends on it

A reminder for today, #WorldDraculaDay, that Michael B. Jordan is forfeiting stupid amounts of money by not pivoting the Creed franchise into a study of the seedy world of underground vampire boxing.

Happy #WorldDraculaDay to those who celebrates! 🦇🖤🦇

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Get a load of the complete lack of emotion on this family of psychopaths in the primordial stages of building their empire of deceit. The only one showing a modicum of conscience is Abraham—notice his eyeline; he can't even bear to look at the camera.

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Chris

Common advice is to keep resumes at 1 to 2 pages, but my secret sauce is to add a 3RD page for an Activities section: a minimally difficult maze, a word search of industry terms, some fun shapes to color, & lastly, a connect-the-dots puzzle that once completed, spells out a legally binding contract:

Dinner AND an album? "I hope that doesn’t dispel any of the myth that surrounds him, but he came out to LA, stayed at our VERY crappy, roach infested house, slept on the couch, cooked us dinner, and recorded a great record in our living room." @electricalwsop.bsky.social 🎈 youtu.be/I8vgnzoydmI

Distorted Pony - Gut Bug (Official Music Video)youtu.be

Billy Joel was specifically upset at the ROCK-AND-ROLLER Cola Wars & in reading between the lines, it becomes clear he was up for the Pepsi sponsorship in '89, but lost it to Michael Jackson, hence: 1) Joel's ire 2) Seguing into a chorus that mocks Jackson's Pepsi pyrotechnic accident 5 years prior

We Didn’t Start the Fire is obviously a hilarious song but we don’t talk enough about the line “cola wars I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE”, like was that the straw that broke the camels back for you my man?

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Reply to

Alan Allport

Man, the look of disappointment on his face when he figured out that it was just a false dust cover used by one of the hornier students to disguise their vintage French smut. bsky.app/profile/alan...

Best part of this is … have you ever actually seen an Oxford VSI? They’re tiny. Wtf is Daughtry holding up there?

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Reply to

Evan Hess

I just got done reading a BUNCH of theory, and it turns out it's all true: The most disrespected person in America, is the boomer woman. The most unprotected person in America, is the boomer woman. The most neglected person in America, is the boomer woman. bsky.app/profile/ehes...

If you don't know how offensive generalizing about "the boomers" is, try substituting "the Blacks" or "the Jews" in your sentence

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Reply to

Phil Lewis

Arcade betting always ends badly. Sure, it's all fun and games while you're hustling cholos at a few rounds of Pleiades, but then you insist on taking your winnings straight to The Bishop of Battle himself and end up stuck in a videogame forever. bsky.app/profile/phil...

Dave & Buster's will begin allowing customers to bet on arcade games “Customers can soon make a friendly $5 wager on a Hot Shots basketball game, a bet on a Skee-Ball competition or on another arcade game.”

Dave & Buster's to allow customers to bet on arcade gameson.nbc10.com One of the largest entertainment operators in the country, Dave & Buster’s, will allow its loyalty customers to compete against one another on its app.

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Brendel

Remember that time the hype machine promised a modern noir masterpiece that finally showcases Batman's detective skills, but instead of that, we got three hours of this horseshit? youtu.be/18L8MPiCS7k?...

The World's Greatest Detectiveyoutu.be The Batman demonstrates to The Lieutenant James Gordon why he's The World's Greatest Detective

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Brendel

Dental Hygienist: So like, what kind of writing do you do? Guy who's into covering Top Gun: Maverick: Mm, ahh luff cov'rin' Tahp Gah Mav'rihc."

Trying to distract myself with some hot dog research and I'm not liking what I'm seeing from the Czech Republic. Like yeah, we all have our fun about how they look like dongs, but this is some real pervert shit.

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Octopus/Caveman

Billy Joel perpetually looks like someone walked in to ask what he was thinking for lunch, but before they got past "Hey, Billy—" he cut them off with a "What? Huh? No, I wasn't just fucking the piano, don't be preposterous."

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Reply to

emptywheel

If Pence announces a third party run, gets himself one of those Shepard Fairey doodles, and makes his slogan and platform “𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝘾𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙃𝙪𝙣𝙜”, it's his race to lose. bsky.app/profile/empt...

Mike Pence, stating he won't endorse Trump, on the Ides of March.

[Arriving early to the Gilmore Girls viewing party] Host: Thanks for coming! Will you be seating with Team Jess or Team Dean tonight? Me:

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Reply to

olivia june ❤️💀

wtf. With all the data they collect on me, how does google not know that I need it for my panis?

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Reply to

ApocalypticaNow

Had no idea this drop-down existed, and how is this not the *default*?

I am in awe of how his speechwriters managed to push back against the recent "Biden can't talk good" attacks AND secure the youth vote in a single word. youtu.be/Y88qlU6oZyw

The State of the Unionyoutu.be The State of the Union (2024)

Everyone's a critic, but the reality is that Jared wouldn't have been able to Fogle all them kids if Subway had brought the guard in from the get-go

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Reply to

Alex

Name a more iconic line

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can SNIFF IT — these two were the best on-screen couple of the 90s! No contest!