ugly vince

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ugly vince

@mortimermaiden.bsky.social

2014-2025
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(fitting a noose around my neck and wobbling on a rickety stool) google says this is how i tie my shoes
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Most adults have thirty-two teeth but you can have as many as you like if your pockets are big enough
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[Colloseum, 200 ad] Emperor: Gladiators, fight and die with honor! Me: *blushing* but there's so many people watching.
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[chuckling while i think about life] hahaha we have overcomplicated EVERYthing [chuckling continues but you can tell it’s masking an overall larger emotion that isn’t chuckle related]
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Surely the devs thought to run a Henry Kissinger Dies stress test on the servers
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Say what you will about Henry Kissinger,
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People critical of celebrating Kissinger's passing should understand that in a way it's honoring him, given how much he adored death.
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And let this be a lesson to all those other war criminals
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Before you say something mean about Henry Kissinger, take a breath and see if you can think of something meaner
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chauvin is stabbed & rittenhouse is broke? kissinger could do the funniest fucking thing right now…
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[hearing that some guy died] oh good that guy loved dying
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Me: This milk tastes funny Lactating clown: Thank you
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Sorry to break the news but Waldo is dead. You can stop looking.
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accidentally joined a conspiracy to assassinate the archduke (again)
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That trick of adding a little water to a shampoo bottle to get a little more life out of it? Don't try it with ketchup. Your hair will smell like ketchup.
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Losing a loved one during the holidays is tough. My dad died during Shrimpfest
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I always check both ends of my spaghetti before eating so I don't accidentally kiss a dog.
End of feed.