Alexandra Petri: well a bird just dropped some business directly on my arm so I guess it’s time to work indoors

well a bird just dropped some business directly on my arm so I guess it’s time to work indoors

Same but on my head 😫🚿

nooooo

This is allegedly good luck so congrats!

This sounds like a thing people made up to make people who got pooped on feel less bad!

Idk but I once saw a person with REALLY long, flowy hair on the beach being hit by a projectile from a seagull. Interestingly, this is THE ONLY time I have ever seen or heard somebody ever being shat on by a bird. Weird, no?

Bird crap used to be more valuable than gold, so maybe that’s a part too?

I can begin my own personal guano operation

How many poops until you can be legally colonized by Uncle Sam?

As Scrooge McDuck says, “Every fortune begins with a single dime.”

Oh no! This reminds me: in college I was late to an orchestra rehearsal once because a bird pooped on my head just as I was heading out the door, and I had to go take an emergency shower. When I got to rehearsal, my conductor was angry I was late. When I explained why, he couldn’t stop laughing.

I think you get to call it a day after that.

A sign of good fortune!

wow who is doing bird pr

I think they use the same firm as Apple.

Remember, birds aren't real, so you've probably been tagged with a DNA-level locational tracker so 'they' can keep any eye on you.

Bad news. You are already indoors.

Flashback to that time I was out for a walk with a baby in a Bjorn: "excuse me, can I use your bathroom? I'd like to wash my baby's head".

Or go to the casino! That's a sign of luck!

My very first time in DC, visiting my dad during the summer of ’72, having a nice picnic beside the tidal basin, I got a load of that straight into my cup of soda. It’s a helluva town.

That's supposed to be good luck! Maybe you'll be offered the White House Press Secretary job!

Post