Tim-my Eat World

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Tim-my Eat World

@t2thacoops.bsky.social

music lover, BayArea sports, home cook, partnered SAHD of 2, drinker of drinks, NorCal➡️DC➡️PHX, failed evangelical experiment #exChristian
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it's so very autistic-coded that my autistic 8yo calls the Chewy Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies the :SQUISHY: cookies 🤣 I love him so much 🥰
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My father in law sent this to me today, and oof… consider me roasted 😂
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Jimmy Eat World did not get permission to rip as hard as they do in the end of this song, but they did it anyways, in the faces of the rock gods they did it, fucking legends start at 3:45 like in the screenshot, or listen to the whole thing, whatever 🥰🎶 open.spotify.com/track/3rXsiC...
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that we could be a country that has the headline "..KNOWINGLY ELECTED A WELL KNOWN, UNREPENTANT CHILD ABUSER TO THE PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE" written about us should be immensely, devastatingly embarrassing even if it doesn't happen
If one side of the argument is "well, he sexually abused a pre-teen girl" then I'm not sure there is another side of the argument you've shown that you're the rat bastard, Charlie Brown! game over!
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If one side of the argument is "well, he sexually abused a pre-teen girl" then I'm not sure there is another side of the argument you've shown that you're the rat bastard, Charlie Brown! game over!
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this is how I know Taylor Swift is not a Christian, she sings about so many *different* guys
christian rock is so funny bc they’re all singing about being in love with the same guy
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I tried to covertly tell my partner "they're just tired from staying up late last night" about the boys throwing fits just now which the 8yo heard and then responded "WE! ARE! NOT! TIIRREEEED!" so yeah I think I was right 🤣
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these my friends are hot honey halloumi flatbread "tacos" with tzatziki, cucumbers, cilantro, pomegranate seeds, and grilled halloumi drizzled in hot honey and chili garlic crunch and plus I took 2 gummies (20mg) so it's even better than it looks 🤤🌱
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there are some accounts on here that I specifically don't follow because they are so big I'm gonna see their stuff re-skeeted on the TL anyways even if I don't follow them, highly recommend
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the penalty for traitors is whatever happened to the Jan 6th rioters so.. *checks notes*.. a few months of jail time is all, apparently, not that bad
I think this is the first time Musk has suggested fellow Americans should be executed.
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I love how TwXtter screenshots declare 'From Earth' because takes from over there are so often so outta sorts that you do have to consider "is this person Xing from another planet and/or galaxy even?" and they pop right in like "we knew you'd ask, cuz lolz, but no.. this one is from here too"
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Back from errands, cooling down with a nostalgia -inducing beverage
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This guy was such a G for telling his evil wizard cyborg boss that his religion is bullshit during a work meeting.
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would you rather elect Joe Biden's corpse being propped up by two guys like in Weekend at Bernie's? or Donald Trump's corpse being propped up by two guys like in Weekend at Bernie's? Biden's corpse weighs a little bit less, you gotta *AT LEAST* take that into account
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there is a perspective that the entire purpose of church services is grooming - for many purposes, sure - but priming attendees for abuse by allowing sexual ignorance *IS* one of them when a church admits "we don't know how to leave the sexually abusive shit out and continue"? pay attention 🤬🤦
grooming industrial complex in shambles
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we don't talk often enough about how hard it must be for Jordan Peterson to have all his shitty deep thoughts, just a constant barrage of shitty ideas, day after day after DAY, more than we ever thought possible, poor guy
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Bourbon Carajillo (espresso, bourbon, angostura bitters, Licor 43, orange liqueur) hope your holiday is as peaceful as America isn't 🇺🇲
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I'll bet if all of the churches in America gave just 10% of their incomes we could rebuild alot of Gaza churches: *crickets*
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my number one problem with Biden is that the knots on his ties could be way bigger and fancier, doesn't seem very presidential OR American to have such a small knot, we should be redefining the knot game, 'Merca!
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you think all the other countries laugh about us Americans behind our collective backs? I'd be worried if they didn't
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finally a sport I can medal in
Creating a new game that’s a cross between Twister and Tiddlywinks. Calling it Tiddlytwister
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PSA: If you jack off today on fourth of July then your cum should shoot out in red, white, & blue colors and with sparkles, that's the only test we have for if you're a real true American patriot of a man, that or a raccoon-skin cap, proceed with caution
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*yells across the yard* HUN!! DO YOU WANT A BLUE RAZZ OR A VANILLA CUZ WE'RE ALL OUT OF FRUIT PUNCH!! NO, I SAID WE'RE ALL OUT OF FRUIT PUNCH!!
patriots in control 🫡
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Biden: what if I.. release a rap album under the rapping name of Yung Bid3n.. 'cause it would be my third presiden- aide: we've been over this, sir, vice president doesn't count- Biden: *throws ketchup* who the ACTUAL fuck does this motherfucker think he is?! who hired this human garbage machine?!
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👇what did I do to my pants in this skeet? wrong answers only
goddammit I hawk tua'd in my special American flag -themed 4th of July pants! that stain is NEVER gonna come out!