These “both parties are the same” idiots need to shut the fuck up and read some history. But they won’t. And they won’t. And even if they did their idiotic and dangerous smugness would continue unabated. 🤬
I forced myself to watch 15 seconds. I’ve concluded that we are very near certainly doomed yet I’m not sure how long I can keep up this level optimism. It could actually be worse. 😬
How is a reasonable person to know it’s bribery unless the man with the money wears a top hat and bowtie and comes floating into the room on an umbrella?
I understand why Macbeth* wanted to kill king Duncan so he could assume the throne. Yet I never understood why he wanted to kill McGruff and his family.
* My jokes about Shakespearean tragedies always slay here.
Vladimir Putin pairing with Kim Jong Un is like Limp Bizkit touring with Ted Nugent. Separately they are fucking awful. Paired together they’re frightening beyond belief.
The guy who has to read my emails meeting the guy who signed me up for the email list and the guy who thought he already unsubscribed from that fucking list.
When I take my vitamins and supplements I sing a song I wrote called “Taurine” which sounds suspiciously like a Dolly Parton song
🎶Taurine, Taurine, Taurine, Taurine
I'm begging of you, please don't take my man.
Taurine, Taurine, Taurine, Taurine 🎶
When I explain my life to my therapist he cries.
I’m always glad to put another Father’s Day in the rearview mirror. Don’t get me wrong: Dad would go out of his way to make our birthdays memorable, but there was some dark stuff, too.
Always 100s. Always in a box. When I was very young he smoked Camel unfiltered but begrudgingly switched to Marlboro when there started to be some speculative chatter that tar and nicotine might be unhealthy.
If your father flew you to Disney when you were 7, bought you a pony when you were 12, a car when you were 16 and paid for college and a down payment on your first home be sure to run out to Target today and get him one of those pre-wrapped $9.99 golf ball monogrammers.
I spend much of my time angry* that certain things even exist.
Case in point: Calendars you have to change every fucking day that presuppose you know what the date actually is. This is shifting the essential role OF a calendar TO the calendar user.
*My therapist just bought a new Lexus.
How awesome! Happy Bloomsday. I had no idea there was ANY recording of Joyce.
“Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls…Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.”
Here’s a bronze plaque I spotted in Dublin.
A live reptile show is coming to my town. Who has a couch I can sleep on somewhere else? Preferably 100 miles away or more. Let’s make that 200 miles. 
