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We are having dinner at what I am assured is an absolutely accurate completely fake Viking restaurant!
Medievalists, avert your eyes.
Hmm, the Thor’s Shield Feast or the Rune-Carver’s Sword For Two?
Sword it is! I’m told it’s served on a real sword!
We have each been given a tiny plastic skull. Its relationship to Vikingness has not been explained.
Ah! The invitation said “skulls will be provided by host.” This is apparently a reference to drinking from the skulls of your enemies.
Several members of our party are playing a game with their plastic skulls. I am told this is an authentic ancient Finnish tradition invented five minutes ago.
I have been given my cider in a large mug, but not, thankfully, a drinking horn.
There is a hard crunchy brown crust to be soaked in butter.
Kevin has ordered “Saint Magnus’s Salted Meat.” It is indeed salty.
According to Wikipedia, St. Magnus the Martyr was sentenced to death by the Thing* and his cousin Haakon had the cook hit Magnus in the head with an axe.
I don’t know where the meat came in.
*assembly, not alien
The bell pepper and zucchini, being from Central America, are obviously proof of the Vikings arriving in the New World. No, you shut up. This is an authentic Rune-Carver’s Sword!
I have just had the tar ice cream.
WTF JUST HAPPENED IN MY MOUTH?!
Because if I’m carving runes back in the day, I’m absolutely using a sword to do it (or were rune-carvers awarded swords as honorific possessions?).
I knew the climate was different when they were at L'Anse Aux Meadows, but *that* different?
🤪
Perhaps a carver of the Kensington Runestone!
That is the least Viking sword I've ever seen...
I have been ASSURED it’s an authentic fake Rune-Carver’s Sword.
To be fair, mate, how many swords have you actually seen?
If you pull the sword out and leave the food standing, does that make you the king of Finland?
Is this The Sword in the Avocado Stone?
Whomever pulls it free is the new Prince of Bel-Air?
Points for truth in advertising, I suppose.
That is the kind of thing I expected, but I'd hoped for the horizontal!
I really love those mugs. Especially the blue ones.
That looks like the dagger of megiddo (?) from the omen
It's good to not be alone in my full frontal nerdity.
The fact that scandinavian (and Iceland) nations' legislature is "The Thing" in their languages makes for delightful historical reading.
If Pennsylvanians had invented Scandinavian representative government, the legislature would have been called The Jawn
I’m occasionally regretful that England didn’t keep Witan but went with that Norman Parliament word. Blooming Normans.
..... hopefully Magnus wasn't the meat.
Well, the cook did kill him…
But look what happened to the cook!
If you have enjoyed this dubious Orcadian saint, why not try St Rognvald? Just your basic warrior-poet-chessmaster-skier-pirate-earl, and possibly the only dude ever canonised for being too cool not to pray to.
Now this sounds like one of your made-up patron saints. Iconography when?
Finnish cider is very different from American cider, I gather!
Now THAT sounds tasty, but then so does drinking cider from a skull taken from your enemy but a mug will do too.
I mean, the only problem with a drinking horn is, how are you supposed to put the darn thing down?
Historian: *leaps up! ready!* *reads the room* *sits back down*
i think this is the point where everyone* wants to know
* it's me, i'm everyone
I am also everyone
...that was a weird statement
Clearly answering the question is a drinking game
lolol, my fingers were poised! But no, that's not what we're doing today haha
Historian/re-enactor: *Joins you*
My grandparents had a couple of these.
Never let us kids drink from them, though :(
Oh, dang! That's a cute design
...now I'm imagining a horn made to look like a lion or something, with you drinking from the mouth
You screw the back into your helmet, obviously. It’s both effective and portable
Also works with hollow prosthetic limbs.
