Valdis 🎧

@val808.bsky.social

465

Posts

Busy kama'āina 🤙🏼 working in the US Midwest and planning his escape. Part-time gardener, full-time Portuguese sausage 🌈🌴🌺🐠🍹🐚🌋🩴🌊

Posts Replies Media

Dinners tiems soon 🐺

Both actually

"Posting on social media doesn't accomplish anything." Shut up, jaded pinhead. I was mildly social and made pleasant connections with like-minded strangers, sharing a few thoughts and general kindness. Sure, it might have all the gravitas of a picnic, but picnics are good things

Omg this worked! On my Whirlpool, holding 1 muted the keypad beeps (holding again restores them). Holding 2 muted ALL the beeps, including the snide "hey come get your stuff!" reminder beep. Godsend! 👍🏼

Ha! It might still be possible. I turned the beeping off bc the kitchen was right outside the bedroom and I worked traditional hours while my husband worked overnights. By the time I was making breakfast, he'd crashed and I was trying to be quiet. Here's how you might be able to do it:

Stop the annoying beeping of your microwave with this trickwww.cnet.com No one likes the incessant beeping of a microwave. Here's how you can shut yours up permanently.

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

It’s Friday, have some fun! I’m opening gin shortly.

Um... Sure, why not?

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

Sent to me by a friend.

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

Making a fake hand out of hot dogs to blow up

I only buy fireworks from reputable outlets signified by a giant inflatable gorilla or a Godzilla lookalike

YouTube (read: fake) pet expert - Don't kiss your dog, they might see it as aggression My dog - [Shoves giant furry face into mine and won't leave until I give ear rubs and a smooch like some kind of 75 lb. affection vampire]

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

Reply to

jon

Pigpen needed a sister named Gardenia who's actually clean but still constantly emanates deadly stench clouds because she's one of those folks who wears waaaaaaaaay too much perfume

On rare occasions, you need to intentionally look for something dumb and that, my friends, is where Google excels. So now you all need to salute my new flag. Happy Fourth! 🎆🌭🧨🚑

Kanoa is largely oblivious to fireworks and thunder, for which I'm grateful, but it never hurts to deploy half a beef stick while various goobers risk their fingers or garages with consumer-grade explosives 🎇

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

Don’t do it.

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

how about a microwave that reaches zero and doesn’t make a big damn deal about it, how about that

Power outage! ⚡ At last, all the cute rechargeable crap I got off Amazon swings into action! Not pictured: me reheating coffee on a completely unnecessary butane camping burner I own because I think it's cute

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

Our skies on Sunday evening.

Now that our country has been reverted to 1954 only gayer, with slightly less racism, I've decided to look forward to tiki culture part II, the next British music invasion, 1960s style SciFi and the possibility of safe jet airliner travel. It's the future!

It's finally here -- the point where I admit that all the mixing, measuring, spills, cooking and fussing to make perfect homemade waffles will still produce waffles vastly inferior to frozen ones. BUT! At much greater expense, time and stress. So there's that

Beachcomber mai tai's for your Saturday downshift 🍹

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

My fave books written by chickens-- Is This Food? It's Probably Food (co-authored by the dog) Human Fingernails: They Look Like Corn So I'm Pecking Them Forever Five A.M. - A Rooster's Manifesto We Run as One: That Leaf Might be a Hawk

Did you know that fresh strawberries and bananas share about 80% of their DNA? Specifically, the DNA that tells them to become overripe at astonishing speeds once you bring them home

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

burglars

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

hey, let’s check in on white people and see what they’re up to! oh.

Tour guide, gazing down at my comically small tomb: Here he is, the guy who invented that medicine that cures people from being too full of themselves

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

Andor screens replaced with @dril.bsky.social quotes

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

I agree.

Reposted by

Valdis 🎧

It’s so cool that cities are like “pweeease only turn your AC on if you’re actively dying and don’t go below 79 🥺🤘🏻💗” while the AI nobody asked for is slurping up the power grid to make 1 image of a girl with 5 tits