Adam Serwer: It is very funny how one of the Supreme Court’s big issues is making it impossible to outlaw bribery because they like being bribed

It is very funny how one of the Supreme Court’s big issues is making it impossible to outlaw bribery because they like being bribed

RE: "Bribes" vs. "Gratuities":

Gee, Mr. Crow that sure is a big pile of cash on the table. Is it to bribe someone? No, son. Those are 'gratuities" Oh. You mean to tip your servers with? LOL, no. I'm going to bribe Clarence Thomas with it.

Putting the "checks" in "checks and balances"

Every check that gets deposited increases the balance. The system works.

“Bribery is political speech absolutely protected by the first amendment to the constitution of the United States”

That’s literally their jurisprudence! They feel it’s protected! And just like calling your congressman

Yes, specifically it’s the court’s Republican clerics who take that view of the first amendment. *rim shot* The Originalists!

Bribery is one of their favorite kinds of political speech because the rich can engage in it and the poor can't!

As we know, the freest speech is the one where some are more free to engage in it than others

Seems they take the phrase "money talks" very seriously

"Bribes are people, my friend" —Mitt Romney

"just the tip", is what Kavanaugh said

Justice Jackson for the win!

"Public officials have no obligation to serve their community, well or otherwise" - Supreme Court precedent, literally

Counterpoint: "Graft is Good!" —Gordon Gekko

Clarence Thomas deliberating:

originalism dictates that being bribed is tight as hell

bsky.app/profile/bens...

Has any elected Democrat in a position of authority laid out an actual plan for dealing with the court other than "vote for us, and hopefully a few of them will die."? Given Republican willingness to block judicial nominees, this feels like running on "vote for us, and we might win the lottery."

I mean, it's quid pro quo not quo pro quid, so the originalist position is clear.

Wheee! 💰💰💰

Not so much funny ha-ha as funny oh-shit, but yeah.

Funny in that kind of “if this wasn’t already allowed it would seem unfathomable” way. Like, it seems absurd but it’s just what’s happening 🤷‍♂️

It's a measure of just how badly this country's gone off track: we see things; we KNOW they're wrong; we say to ourselves "Someone oughta do something about that" - and then we go back to our lives. Then, when we're all scrounging for tin cans like in the Walking Dead, we'll wonder wtf happened...

lets make this the narrative

It’s been a long term project, since the McDonnell decision at least

Apparently it’s only a bribe if there’s a pro quo for your quid.

Yes, indeed, the conflict of interest struck me immediately. The cons on Scotus are affirmatively pro-corruption.

bsky.app/profile/mdaw...

that extra big tip for the bartender is to show appreciation for them serving my first drink, and surely is not intended to influence my future service

Introducing the Prevost Gratuity luxury RV!

...and it's important to note that this is not a conservative Justice thing---these bribery cases get overturned 9-0. So while the 3 libs aren't personally corrupt like Alito and Thomas, they sure are OK w basically defining bribery out of existence. www.reuters.com/world/us/us-...

U.S. Supreme Court tosses former Cuomo aide's bribery convictionwww.reuters.com The U.S. Supreme Court on Thursday overturned the bribery conviction of Joseph Percoco, an ex-aide to Democratic former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a ruling that further limits the ability of federal prosecutors to pursue corruption cases.

At this point I’m willing to entertain the idea that all 9 are pretty ok with being bribed.

Gratuities! like $13,000 in cash! I guess it was 10% of the total worth of the project?

it's hilarious really

Every term the lavishly corrupt Republican hacks in robes make more and stronger arguments for court expansion

Now their next act is to make it a law that everyone has to say how young they look and that they're the coolest kids in class.

When RV bribes are outlawed, only outlaws will drive RVs

Well kinda

How propitious for them that it is they who get to make the decision to not outlaw bribery.

Not very funny actually. #ExpandTheSupremeCourt NOW!

After they read opinions they should flip it around to show the recommend gratuity like at a coffee shop

Everyone in the McDonnell majority might as well wear Matthew Lesko’s cash suit

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