Chris Delauder

@beaglebets.bsky.social

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Dogs, curling, code. Owned by a beagle.

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Chris Delauder

here’s a fucking marker: biden does not step down, trump loses. make your arguments against it, but that’s the baseline you would expect if you don’t read the times and the atlantic writers shitting their pants in public. show your work, and i will show mine.

the poasting wars, 2024

if you need a battle cry, it is this: we will never get back what we lose and we should do whatever it fucking takes to hold every fucking inch. give nothing. admit nothing. argue nothing. fight everything. contest everything. give not a single blade of fucking grass.

i passed a kid while walking the dogs and thought "what a weird ugly hat that kid has on", but dear reader, IT WAS A LIZARD RIDING HIS HUMAN

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Chris Delauder

the first, second and third most important news stories this week are about the SCOTUS decision, and every columnist spending their time talking about biden old is telling you what they value. we don’t have to indulge them, though, stop your subs, stop clicking, stop talking about them.

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Chris Delauder

I HAVE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING MORE THAN I WANT THIS DEER HEAD SOMEONE POSTED IN THE BAD TAXIDERMY FB ACCOUNT

no i am not eating this entire full-size watermelon all at once, why do you ask?

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Chris Delauder

if you want to feel old, Monday was closer to the date the pyramids were built than it is to today

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Chris Delauder

*slaps the roof of this bee* this baby can fit so much pollen

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Chris Delauder

one of my older coworkers was telling me "In the 80's we all thought we were seconds from being vaporized in an atomic blast, yet we still felt optimistic enough about the future to have kids. The fact your generation doesn't says a lot about how bad things are now" and...I mean, yeah. Fuck.

hot take: people should moo when they drive past cows

I don't want to be friends with people who don't loudly exclaim "COWS!" when we drive past cows

toast should be salted after being buttered

IT’S TRASH TUESDAY. LET IT ALL OUT AND FLY THOSE FREAK FLAGS

I love when people lean into stuff

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Chris Delauder

Every once in a while you read a piece that explains and reorganizes your worldview- this is one of those pieces for me: pluralistic.net/2024/06/21/o...

Pluralistic: Neither the devil you know nor the devil you don’t (21 Jun 2024) – Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorowpluralistic.net

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Chris Delauder

Reply to

The Silvered Spherical Ideal Median Voter

Probably the best thing about this movie is the unironic huge career difference it made for a lot of Black recording artists, which is absolutely part of why Aykroyd wanted to make it

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Chris Delauder

I can't remember a tech campaign this relentless.

fucking bleak, man

Former Snap engineer launches Butterflies, a social network where AIs and humans coexist

Former Snap engineer launches Butterflies, a social network where AIs and humans coexisttcrn.ch Butterflies wants to let users create AI personas that then take on their own lives and coexist with others. © 2024 TechCrunch. All rights reserved. For personal use only.

I HAVE BEEN WONDERING THIS SINCE I MOVED HERE!!!

We kind of have that in Portland. You have to imagine the hole

Why Do TriMet Buses Fart?www.wweek.com Do bus drivers have a button that lets them passive-aggressively tell cars who ignore the yield sign to go suck gas?

a crow tried to start a fight with me this morning?!?!

i would absolutely drive the 2+ hours to watch #blowupthewhale

I really try hard not to post about politics. But this is the most important issue in Oregon right now and if all of my followers too a moment to sign it would make a difference tell the liberals in salem we need to blow uo the whale now www.change.org/p/explode-th...

Sign the Petitionwww.change.org We are petitioning for a unique and memorable approach to resolving the situation of a large deceased whale at Nehalem State Park, Oregon. This petition advocates for the controlled explosion of the w...

guy i hired to build a fence: first i'm going to start by digging some post holes. me, a genius: you can like that smut at your own home on your time

rip greta

[homer_simpson.trash_sandwich.gif.geriatric_millennial]

someone down the street just let out quite the scream followed by an "oh yes" and i'm happy they're having such a good day

rare bit of good court news

BREAKING: Federal judge rules that Florida’s ban on gender-affirming medical care for minors and many of its restrictions on similar adult care are unconstitutional. More to come at Law Dork. www.lawdork.com

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Chris Delauder

the heaviest object known to man is the head of a beagle

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Chris Delauder

HEY #OREGON AND #WASHINGTON !!! SHELLFISH WARNING !!! THE ENTIRE COAST IS CLOSED FOR HARVESTING DUE TO PARALYTIC TOXIN !!! DO NOT HARVEST OR EAT ANY SHELLFISH AT THE COAST! COOKING DOES NOT GET RID OF THE TOXIN! KEEP YOUR DOGS SAFE FROM ANY FOUND ON BEACHES TOO apnews.com/article/fda-...

Things to know about FDA warning on paralytic shellfish poisoning in Pacific Northwestapnews.com The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says consumers should avoid eating shellfish from Oregon and Washington state as they may be contaminated with toxins that cause paralytic shellfish poisoning.

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Chris Delauder

Reply to

Stilgherrian

Goatse, Goatdo.

i love how every poll in my lifetime has basically said: democratic voter: has thoughts (different for each person) independent voter: has the brain of a lobster republican voter: angry (doesn't know why)

Biden’s support is heavily rooted not in enthusiasm for him but opposition to Trump. As for Biden’s message about democracy… www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

starting a band called fetid turd pods

before I moved to California I thought I hated avocados, because the only ones I'd ever encountered were fetid turd pods

the heaviest object known to man is the head of a beagle