Claire Willett: repost to mark yourself safe from having seen a Cybertruck in the wild yet I’m still pure and unsullied 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

repost to mark yourself safe from having seen a Cybertruck in the wild yet I’m still pure and unsullied 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

my friend saw two across the street from each other in Bend, Oregon today (one matte black with a vanity plate 🙄) and we decided it could be the meet-cute in some horrible Republican romcom, except of course that the only people who own them are likely the worst kind of shitty “no homo” dudebros

ooh, or the meet-cute in a horror flick. Tesla Terror! but it's jessica biel running from justin timberlake drunk in the truck. Bringing sexy backs into you.

How about a Strangers on a Train remake? Tesla owners conspiring to murder each other's wives seems plausible

Yeah, they all bought them to show how they’re “high value men” (wtf does that even mean??) but it turns out none of the women they think they deserve will come with a Mike of the things. It’s just a bunch of determined, loser dudes circling the same blocks, hoping somehow to attract Wimmen.

They have a homoerotic awakening while waiting for the tow trucks when their cybertrucks break down.

Two people one tow truck

"Broke Truck Tesla"

Tow truck driver writing to Penthouse: "I never thought I'd have a three-way"

Well that would mean pretty much everyone in Europe since they aren't available over here - we have rules about companies not being allowed to sell death traps.

yes unfortunately points can only be distributed on US soil

Not quite, I've heard of a few sightings here in Vancouver, BC. You can still drive across the border in these things!

One was even spotted on the island already.

There was one parked outside my HOUSE last night, my neighbor and I were texting each other in a fury. First one I've seen, despite living in L.A. I almost left them a "take this shit back to Huntington Beach" note, but I was in a hurry.

I'm telling my future kids this was a Cybertruck

There's one in northeast PDX I keep seeing and it's just. so. freaking. ugly.

Is it the black one?

I used to draw these in school notebooks all the time when I was 8. Never thought someone would be childish enough to build one, let alone buy one.

It looks like an 8 year old's Batmobile for sure

I had better taste at 8, I had a 1:12 scale testarossa 😂.

Man I had so many super cars as micro machines

Oh that's dreadful, no this is just a standard shitty one.

Saw one last time I went to the grocery store, I'm out of the game

I saw one and then I tested positive for Covid later that day. Infer what you'd like.

MY MOM SPOTTED ONE WHEN WE WERE IN PORTLAND but I was facing the other way and didn’t see 😂

jury says she’s out but you’re still in

sadly, i cannot

I wonder what a 9v battery and two tens electrodes would do to the metal

I think the owner is more likely to find out what urine does to the metal.

Iron filings and salt 💀

I'm in Australia so I doubt I'll ever see one over here. They would require massive after-market modification to make then comply with Australian roadworthiness laws.

It’s giggle inducing! Like a child’s drawing come to life. Too big, yet so impracticle, not quite shiny, weird proportions. I really hope you see one for the first time while it’s moving, just a laugh riot. Saw one again tonight and I omg’d out loud! @dingis.bsky.social

Thankfully I have not yet had my vision sullied by a Wankpanzer yet.

That is a good name for the monstrosity.

The first car I ever did a double-take upon viewing for its ugliness was the Pontiac Aztec. I kind of feel like the Cybertruck is the modern equivalent but much dumber, much uglier and much more expensive

Torn between being relieved that they are not being sold in Australia, and disappointed that I don't have the chance for in-person mockery and vandalism.

I sadly saw 3 in one day recently. Rolled my eyes each time. Live in the SF Bay Area so becoming ever harder to go a day without seeing one. The given are the 19 bajillion regular Teslas which generally seem to function well. Rivians continue to sneak up on them though.

I'd like to but can't ruin this repost stat

nice

oh claire you are fortunate to not have sullied your gaze upon such trash.

unfortunately up in the seattle area I have seen several on a regular basis.

Ooh I must not get out enough (or maybe just the right amount). Haven’t seen any in west seattle or first hill where I spend the most time

Thankfully the UK is safe (as far as I know)

Luckily it seems it will take a while since the monster is not coming to Europe anytime soon!

Incel Camino Defilement (It works both ways)!

Alas, one in Reno, two (or same one?) around Lake Tahoe. Including at night with that WTF headlight.

I saw 2 today unfortunately. I’ve seen quite a few around Portland and Yamhill Valley

I hadn’t seen any at all prior to this month, but saw two over the past couple of weeks, one in NW Portland (OR) and the other in an outlying suburb. They look even more ridiculous in person, like a cosplay car, but done sloppily.

It helps that they can't be legally sold in my country.

Sadly, my innocence was rudely stolen from me last week. 😭

I live in the SF Bay Area, so no, not safe 😥

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