Coach Finstock: This is a real thing and there's a nonzero chance we're gonna find out Elon told someone they could either be branded or get fired in one of the many memoirs that will be written about his reign

This is a real thing and there's a nonzero chance we're gonna find out Elon told someone they could either be branded or get fired in one of the many memoirs that will be written about his reign

It probably doesn't stay hot enough to actually brand anything, or there's a warning that its melting point is really low.

Lmao do not get hot on a branding iron

Made from gallium

You pull it off the skin and the surface of the iron is stippled and pored.

It's stainless steel. You could actually brand someone with it. And someone almost certainly will.

Worst NXIVM sequel

Imagine going to someone’s house and they brand this on your steak without asking

I want Tesla buttcheeks

You would not be able to sit down

Not because of the brand, but because if Tesla designed buttcheeks they wouldn't work

they would somehow transform into buttknees

Pull this separate lever, no not the button, if you want to sit down

*FART DETECTED, CHEEKS SHUTTING DOWN.*

an ass you can't get wet

Tesla boldly asks the question, "what if ur ass had to stay dry?"

That's not doodoo it's rust

bsky.app/profile/elon...

Took off near Butte, Montana, United States.

He was looking into it

I heard "2 weeks"

[nods knowingly] afflicted with musk

So that they might randomly combust?

Why is the Tesla logo a cats nose though..

www.reddit.com/r/birthcontr...

Im not sure Musk would know what that is

Someone would start to explain it to him and he’d be like “yeah we can see if Cybertruck survives an IED. Good idea. Armor upgrade package.”

If he does, he thinks it's an abomination.

Following the train of thought where he thinks “why would someone choose to not have kids? Especially with me?”

Unrelated bsky.app/profile/benn...

He seriously wants the robot to babysit his kids

Appropriate, as the fandom seems to be suffering symptoms of something akin to toxoplasmosis

I had a brother in law (Honda factory mechanic) get a tattoo of a Honda logo like 30 years ago, and I remember thinking that was over the top then! The social structure is certainly congealing into one part cult leaders, and the other part acolytes they can amass.

Probably nothing…

#ElonQ $TSLAQ Where were the signs people will ask… The signs:

My knowledge of best practices is rusty because I haven't thought about this in twenty years, but I wouldn't trust ANY mass-produced branding iron for recreational or decorative use, least of all this one I'll eat my boots if it was designed with any input from a human with relevant experience

TESLIVM. He's gonna start making people call him "Vanguard."

It actually melts if you try to heat it up to branding temperature

That sounds about right.

Looks like a plastic handle on it too.

This feels like the reason his last to wives left him

Surprisingly it doesn't have small print saying it can't be used as a brand. It does say only food, wood, and leather though.

“Mark any occasion with the Tesla branding iron.”

joe brandon

Or we're going to find out he brands all the women who bear his children. Or all his children. Or both.

Two options for continued employment: 1) Have my baby 2) Tesla brand

What if NXIVM required you to buy the brand first

😭

Is this a branding iron for his factory town employees, so they get rounded up when they jump the fences?

this is going to cause fucking chuds to harm animals i hate it dont give a fuck if they harm themselves

Alright Blue Checks, show Elon you really love him. Right on the gooch.

just gonna leave this here www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZrH...

Bros Branding Bros - Key & Peelewww.youtube.com These frat bros literally brand each other. It doesn’t go well. Paramount+ is here! Stream Key & Peele now on Paramount+. Try it FREE at https://bit.ly/3qyOeOf #KeyAndPeele Subscribe to Comedy Central: https://bit.ly/2SP55QM About Key & Peele: Key & Peele showcases the fearless wit of stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele as the duo takes on everything from "Gremlins 2" to systemic racism. With an array of sketches as wide-reaching as they are cringingly accurate, the pair has created a bevy of classic characters, including Wendell, the players of the East/West Bowl and President Obama's Anger Translator. Watch more Comedy Central: https://www.youtube.com/comedycentral Follow Key & Peele: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeyAndPeele/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/keyandpeele Watch full episodes of Key & Peele: http://www.cc.com/shows/key-and-peele Follow Comedy Central: Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComedyCentral/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comedycentral/

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