David_j_roth: I've seen enough: GOP candidate Tarp Bumpass, a sunburned chiropractor who rose to national notoriety after firing a rocket launcher into a blimp with the word "gender" written on it, injuring 312 bystanders, has been defeated in his race for a Pennsylvania Supreme Court seat.

I've seen enough: GOP candidate Tarp Bumpass, a sunburned chiropractor who rose to national notoriety after firing a rocket launcher into a blimp with the word "gender" written on it, injuring 312 bystanders, has been defeated in his race for a Pennsylvania Supreme Court seat.

but Moms For Guns For Dogs put 3 million dollars into his campaign!

I feel like I saw that web ad for him where Rob Schneider reprised his Makin' Copies character, but made it so he was based, at least 100 times. I thought that was a difference-maker.

"Look at Bumpass, making copies! Bumping it all over, making copies! The Tarp Dog, restricting abortion and making copies!" Gold. Just Gold. Can't believe he lost (it was stolen?).

Woke Oberlin grads think the men who founded this great country need to be second-guessed when it comes to the right of a basset hound to unload a thirty-round magazine!

Oh he stole that

yabut he said that yorkies shouldn't have guns and it turned off a huge part of that demo

Ah, Tarp. Of the Virginia Bumpasses.

It's a proud family and I know they'll bounce back from this disappointment.

Bump-ass away from this

The Dollar General really ties the whole picture together.

As well as the urch.

One mistake he made on the stump was claiming that “in the Constitution there is no explicit separation of urch and tate; General Dollar didn’t practice Wicca!”

Urch: when church is too long

Just outside the city limits so they're not "held back by the woke politics of the big city folk."

Any relation to the Bumpasses who lived next door to Ralphie?

Hanover County's finest

Bumpass County?

david im so happy you’ve brought your posts over to this site

It felt like the right thing

You are among friends

At 51-49 the margin's just too big for a mandatory recount.

Me googling "Tarp Bumpass" because in this news cycle you never know

I feel seen...

I'd like to see a histogram of the word people reading this figured out it was not real (for me, having not seen who wrote it, it was 312).

312 is where I started to think "Hey, this might be a joke." I was certain at "Pennsylvania," but only because I live in Pennsylvania. If I lived elsewhere and didn't know for sure that PA didn't have a Tarp Bumpass on the ballot, I probably would've been at 50/50 by the end.

I was searching for some kind of sign on this one way or another, else I would have had to ask one of the WTYP podcasters.

I'm currently reading the comments still trying to figure out if this is real, and only just now starting to feel confident the answer is "no"

I was getting ready to look this guy up. I can't tell satire from real life anymore.

The story might have been more believable if it was set well south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

The guy who won the PA Republican primary for governor in 2022 is absolutely as ridiculous as the person from this joke post.

Would that be insurrectionist Doug Mastriano?

Yeah I was like I definitely would've heard of 312 people getting injured in that manner. Up to that I was like, crazy name: check, rocket launcher: sure, blimp with the word "gender" on it: sounds right

I wasn't 100% sure until I was confident that I'd correctly parsed if 'gender' was written on the rocket launcher or the blimp.

yeah the fact that I bought without question the gender blimp is kind of... well, it just makes me feel weary, I guess

I had to come to the comments

I still verified to be sure if Tarp Bumpass was real, because the world we live in is no longer the only world we live in.

I texted this to my wife without context and she thought it was real and laughed super hard until she realized she had to clarify that it wasn’t funny people were injured.

Can't tell if this is satire, but also don't want to know. It's actually better not knowing

I was like "this has to be satire" but after the last 10 years I googled the name anyway.

*long drag off cigarette* I haven't heard that name in years

It’s bad that I’m still not sure if this is a joke or not.

This site is a valuable source of news.

These are the projections we really need

Is this real or a meme, I cannot tell with America sometimes

That's just what I'd expect the lamestream media to say about an American hero like Tarp Bumpass.

The best part is I actually had to look this up to make sure it wasn’t actually true.

Same

Not if Mike Pence has the courage to do the right thing.

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