Donkey Hotay

@donkee.bsky.social

166

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151

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1759

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I’m an ass

Avoid this rabbit hole at all costs:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaai57dxyhgwc

Posts Replies Media

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Donkey Hotay

My first quaalude felt like I’d floated to heaven and sat with God in the vip box for the F Sinatra/Tom Jones show at the old Omni. My 53rd lude felt like ok now I can make it to detox before I dry heave all my organs into the floorboard

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Donkey Hotay

Me (jumping off the high dive at the town pool): “DAVY CROCKETT!” Geronimo: You toss us aside so easily M: Sorry I didn’t want to appropriate. Davy Crockett: Oh so you’re a backwoods Tennessean? M: no but I’m from Texas where you died for liberty Generalísimo Santa Ana: Pendejo!

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Donkey Hotay

guy who discovered fire: ow fuck ow

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Donkey Hotay

Things you probably shouldn’t do Smoke on a roller coaster Garden naked in northern Québec Shit talk a colleague to another colleague Bangs when you’re drunk or sad Same for tattoos Same for virginity Encourage someone who doesn’t tip Not say goodbye to your pets when you leave

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Donkey Hotay

sorry i'm late i didn't wanna come

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Donkey Hotay

Roger Stone still out there walkin around like nothin ever happened

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Donkey Hotay

"Hi" Takes a second to type but could mean the world to someone

GOP ad: The hyper-lib msm wants to portray JD as a bad person, a sexual deviant, a fold-out fornicator, a sofa-sex-psycho, the Interior Peckerator, the Sultan of Sofa, the… Ben Carson: These muthafuckas turned on me over a goddamn dining set but this couch fuckin ho ass bitch jumps to 2nd fiddle??

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Donkey Hotay

Sorry everyone who signed the new user agreement without reading it. You owe us $5,000

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Donkey Hotay

EarthLink is not being affected by the global outages. Out of Y2K fears, we never upgraded from Windows 98.

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Donkey Hotay

Some of you have asked about our corporate political donation policy. We haven’t made a contribution since Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign and many of our users took to the chat rooms to call us Narcs.

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Donkey Hotay

Friend told me accidentally that the dinner I was invited to tonight is actually a birthday party for me which is awesome except my birthday is in February and I just texted the host and she said “but I baked you a cake.” Anyway. Cake.

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Donkey Hotay

Finally figured what neighbor has the drone I flash my boobs at that one night I had alcohol. It’s a nice old man the street over so I think it was a worthy effort.

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Donkey Hotay

Monsoons at night are much more relaxing, you can’t see your yard getting rendered unrecognizable

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Donkey Hotay

Daddy used to tell me, your mama wanted a girl. I wanted an abortion.

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Donkey Hotay

Some scientists believe my mom was a tall, steaming pile of cow dung cuz that’s where my daddy found me

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Donkey Hotay

the outro part of bloodhound gang’s ‘fire water burn’ that says “everybody here we go” into “one - nothing wrong with me” from drowning pool’s ’bodies’ is a mashup my brian always makes.

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Donkey Hotay

Prithee, my lord, would it snuff out that too brief flame were you to play a little Foghat

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Donkey Hotay

wish i could show a tube of gogurt to freud, see what he thinks

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Donkey Hotay

I'm like if a clam wearing a Texas bolo tie was a person

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Donkey Hotay

who up rubbin’ they dub dub

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Donkey Hotay

Hey. My feed was too heavily weighted towards politics and criticisms this morning (karma for my one news-related post? Recall bias?). I followed you all because you sometimes post fun things. I (we) need more fun things. Don't force me to get fed up (ha) and interact with the physical world.

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Donkey Hotay

In Soviet Russia, the couch fucks you.

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Donkey Hotay

Me as a therapist..Did you do your homework?!

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Donkey Hotay

Flava-Flav sponsoring the US women’s water polo team for the Olympics is the dopest, heart warmingest, most surreal fuckin Fellini world shit I’ve heard since noon

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Donkey Hotay

This is the future that Republicans are terrified of.

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Donkey Hotay

when i’m done with all these atoms i don’t really want anyone else to use them

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Donkey Hotay

Fancy me ya fokin wanka

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Donkey Hotay

taking double my meds so they work double good